The Funniest Canadian Joke.

[tbontob]

Here is the funniest Canadian joke as determined by Discovery Canada in a week long marathon of jokes.

Overheard, a radio conversation between a U.S. naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland.

Canadian: "Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees south to avoid a collision."

American: "Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees north to avoid a collision."

Canadian: "Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees south to avoid a collision."

American: "This is the captain of a U.S. navy ship. I say again, divert your course."

Canadian: "No. I say again, divert your course."

American: "This is the U.S. carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the U.S. Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied by 3 cruisers, 8 destroyers, 2 submarines and numerous support vessels. I demand you change your course 15 degrees north! I say again, that's 15 degrees north or countermeasures will be taken to ensure the safety of this ship."

Canadian: "This is the lighthouse. Your call."

[Arkcon]

Originally posted by tbontob:
Here is the funniest Canadian joke as determined by Discovery Canada in a week long marathon of jokes.

Overheard, a radio conversation between a U.S. naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland.

Link-a-chow

Still funny though. Look at some others.

[Fyron]

That isn't really that funny. I guess people in Canada (or at least those on that tv station) have odd senses of humor.

[tbontob]

Arkon, I looked at your site and it is interesting that this joke is an oldie and has been around a long time.

So, I am going to play devil's advocate. (My apologies to fellow-Canadians)

First, it is obvious that there an element of animosity in the joke against the Americans.

Secondly, it is told in such a way to make the Americans look stupid.

Why is this?

First let me say, that I perceive the American military in general and the navy in particular, as being in the top upper-percentile of professionalism.

So what is going on?

Let's look at the joke first. Assuming the right-of-way rules do not apply, it only makes sense that a lone ship should give way to an armada.

Much easier for a lone ship to change course than a fleet and maybe this is the way Americans sometimes percieve things. It is just logical that a sailing schooner should give way to the fleet rather than the other way around.

Yet many nations perceive the power of the U.S. as kind of a "big brother" and they are obligated to give way.

Someone once described Henry Kaiser as a friendly elephant leaning on him. Nations may view the U.S. in a similar fashion.

However, friendly the elephant, you do not want to make him angry!

So, I suspect there is suppressed anger in having to "give way" to a superior force.

In the joke, the US fleet gives the impression that it is applying its strength to get its way in Canadian waters.

However reasonable it is that the "fishing schooner" should give way to a fleet which is understandably more difficult to maneuver than a fishing schooner, force is still being applied in Canadian waters against a "so-called" Canadian vessel.

And this angers many people of nations who find themselves on the wrong end of the appication of force, however friendly it is applied.

And this is something I think Americans miss. They are often perceived as applying force when they may be just trying to be friendly. Or maybe something in between, friendly force.

So, the joke ends with the Americans making a fool of themselves. And it does is give Canadians a feeling of superiority. An unwarranted feeling of superiority perhaps, but it does relieve the tension which is the purpose of many jokes.

Americans should not take this joke to heart. We can love an older brother but dislike the times when we are pressured by him to do something.

With Canada having at most one-tenth the power of the U.S. it is a way of dealing with the power inequity and thereby relieve the tension.

[Arkcon]

Originally posted by tbontob:
Arkon, I looked at your site and it is interesting that this joke is an oldie and has been around a long time.

Hey, I just find it interesting that these old jokes get morphed into urban legends, back to jokes, etc.

You can see from the site, sometimes its told with Americans on both sides.

It will always be hilarious. I think the Imperator has a better explanation, there are somethings people latch on as funny that are pretty wierd.

[ January 24, 2003, 03:14: Message edited by: Arkcon ]

[Arkcon]

Originally posted by Imperator Fyron:
That isn't really that funny. I guess people in Canada (or at least those on that tv station) have odd senses of humor.

It's so strange you should say that, some group called Laugh Lab {their web page} says this is the one that got the most votes from Canada

Top joke in Canada

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.

Which is also an UL, once developed the pen replaced the pencil on both US and Russian spacefights. It was less likely to break and send conductive particles floating into sensitive components, also it was less flammable in a rich oxygen environment.

All I can say is ... what is with those Belgians? Nothing personal, but that's a real old one guys. I know you can do better.

[Fyron]

That joke was even less funny than the one Tbontob posted.

[tbontob]

Arkcon, the pen/pencil joke was one of the runner ups on the Discovery Channel.

But again, it was designed to make the Americans look foolish.

Yet, the Americans were vindicated in the end if, it is as you say, the pen was used by the Russians.

[Arkcon]

Originally posted by Imperator Fyron:
That joke was even less funny than the one Tbontob posted.

See... and the big winner world wide ...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

Yeah, cute, but not hilarious. Have you checked out what's splitting sides in Belgum yet?

[Fyron]

Some people just don't have very good senses of humor...