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  #1  
Old June 2nd, 2006, 11:07 PM
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Default OT: Yes, They Are Breeding! *DELETED*

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Old June 3rd, 2006, 12:01 AM
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Default Re: OT: Yes, They Are Breeding!

I don't mean to say that people are stupid, I mean to say that some people are really stupid.

Quote:
Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper
And now for your amusement I submit the following:


I had to tell you that story above so that I could now tell you this story.

About a month back the house and property in front of us was rented out. Two weeks ago I met the new neighbors. *deep breath slow sigh*

To say that theses guys are red necks would be an understatement. These guys are uber red necks. You see, they took these two semi new trucks, one a 2004 Chevy Silverado 1500(?), the other a 2005 Ford F150, bought only a few weeks back with money from an inheritance, and proceed to spend the day, and most of the night, stump jumping them throughout the 40 acres of trees, fields, and wet lands of the property they now rent.

At some point during their hillbilly hoopla fest, they opted to remove the mufflers, via running over [censored], because it made the trucks sound louder, and we all know that the louder the truck, the more powerful it must be. Besides ripping off the fenders, mirrors, and caving in the windshield don't hurt the runnin none.

Well any ways, at around 2 am, quite drunken, armed, and driving their new $30,000 worth of wrecked trucks, these yahoo's decide to go pull up street signs and tear down signal lights. I [censored] you not. At around 2 am in the morning they hall *** down the road, strap on a chain to the bumper of the Ford, because by this time the Chevy is broke down and stuck in a perk hole. They tie the other end of their chain to a stop sign at the end of the private road and with a stomp of the gas, out comes the stop sign. With this success they move further down the road and do it again and again until they come to the ultimate icon of modern day stop signs, the stoplight at the four-way intersection.

But before they wrap the chain around this would be victim of hillbilly stupidity, dump out all of their used beer bottles onto the ground and start shooting them. Oh I am sure one or more bottles meet it doom after being tossed into the air, but who really knows what red neck hill billies do when they shoot glass and aluminum at 2:30 am in the morning.

After about 20 or so minutes of their version of the old west, they go ahead and tie off to the stop signal. They rev the Fords motor several times then lock her into gear and poured on the coals.... kaboom!

Now to be a successful red neck hill billy one must possess a certain degree of inept stupidity for they laughed and giggled and drove off all happy and what not without ever looking back. Had they, they might have noticed something. Oddly as it might seem, if they had stopped to review their actions, they would have discovered that the light post and signal were still standing. And attached to the base of the light post/signal, was their chain. And, has fate would have it, attached to that chain was a bumper. Not any old bumper mind you, but the bumper from a 2005 Ford 150 with, ironically, a license plate baring the very same identification number of the license plate attached to the front bumper of the very same Ford 150 that they were now happily, and quite drunkenly driving off in.

These moron's, and by moron's I mean complete retarded, inbreed, hillbilly, buck tooth, bare foot, dirt floor, long haired, dip ****s rejects from coal country finally tire of the fun and head home. How they make it home is entirely another story, but needless to say they do make it home.

The very next morning I am awoken to the sweet sounds of sirens and police radios. Deadeye, he calls himself this because he shot his left eye out while looking down the barrel of a paint ball gun at the same instant that he pulled the trigger, tells me today that since they can't prove who was driving the truck, they can't charge them with any crime. The trucks owner, his dad, will have to pay for the damages, and wouldn't ya know it, they are very well insured. I mean you would have to be if you treated your vehicles like these morons.

Now old deadeye, (about 18 yrs old) don't remember none of the night, he cain't say what for sure happinned.

Well I can, and despite my blank stupefied stair, have come to realize yet another truth about this wonderful universe that we all live in, that being that God loves stupid people..... He absolutely does.
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Old June 3rd, 2006, 03:26 AM
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Default Re: OT: Yes, They Are Breeding!

AT, God did not specifically 'create' stupid people. He did however make the 'Huge Mistake' of giving humankind 'Free Will' one of the numerous side-effects of that decision was/is Stupidity. He did at one point in time try to 'fix' this mistake but when he handed down the 'Commandments' he forgot to remove the 'Free Will' part of the deal. Well, you know what happened, 'Free Will' proved stronger (and stupider) than the word of God.

God had nothing but good intentions, Give humankind 'Free Will' and he thought for sure that we would build a paradise. LoL.. Boy did he ever misjudge how we would use 'Free Will'.

So, what I'm saying is God giving us 'Free Will' is exactly the same as someone giving a redneck a nice new pickup truck. It can be used for so many wonderfull things but there is something deep inside us that compells us to be stupid.

Bottom Line,.. We are ALL rednecks one and all.

Personally, I'd give anything to have God take back 'Free Will' and replace it with 'Common Sense' which is a myth.

LOL, Cheers!
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Old June 3rd, 2006, 02:07 PM

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Default Re: OT: Yes, They Are Breeding! *DELETED*

"Common Sense" is a definite misnomer, since it isn't very common at all!

AT, how come you deleted the first post?? Please don't tell me it offended someone...

You know, with relation to the redneck story, I'm wondering why the drivers of the vehicle couldn't be charged with the destruction of public property. I mean, it's obvious who was driving (hey, maybe it's the hungover guys in the house where the truck is parked!!). Then again, legal systems seem to work more on absolutes than high probabilities.
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Old June 3rd, 2006, 05:00 PM
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Default Re: OT: Yes, They Are Breeding! *DELETED*

Quote:
I assure you that the ability to view our futures can become a bore. Even to be thought of as a god, as I certainly was, can become ultimately boring. It has occurred to me more than once that holy boredom is good and sufficient reason for the invention of free will. -- Inscription on the storehouse at Dar-es-Balat
(From Frank Herbert's _God Emperor of Dune_)
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Old June 3rd, 2006, 09:20 PM
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Default Re: OT: Yes, They Are Breeding! *DELETED*

Free will wasn't a mistake. We live or die by our own choices.
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Old June 4th, 2006, 12:44 AM
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Default Re: OT: Yes, They Are Breeding! *DELETED*

If you want some empirical proof that for some folks free will is just a license to thin out and improve the human gene pool, try this site out:

The Darwin Awards
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Old June 4th, 2006, 12:58 AM
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Default Re: OT: Yes, They Are Breeding! *DELETED*

Already read most of it. Stupidity isn't heriditary, it's taught.
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Old June 5th, 2006, 05:41 AM
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Default Re: OT: Yes, They Are Breeding! *DELETED*

I did not want to offend any one who might take offense to stupid people. Besides, I did not think any one would appreciate the humor. Odd that I deleted the thread, but only the post went away. Very odd.
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  #10  
Old June 5th, 2006, 05:44 AM
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Default Re: OT: Yes, They Are Breeding! *DELETED*

AT, do you think they're likely to do it all again? If so, you should hire a digger somewhen then go out and dig some "truck traps" on their playground, so that next time they go tearing around the countryside they end up nose-down in a massive ditch. =-D

Also, although the police weren't able to prove who was driving, you can be damned sure they KNOW who was driving and will be keeping a close eye on your neighbours from here on in. The next sniff of trouble and they'll know exactly who to go for.
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