The Funniest Canadian Joke. - Page 13

Arkcon · #**121** January 29th, 2003, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by David Gervais:
My problem is that the french think I speak with an english accent and the english think I speak with a french accent! Probably because I throw in words from both Languages and this confuses them!

Nuf said! Cheers!

Oh that is too funny, I'm trying to picture the average conversation in my head.

Once I was making random calls to component vendors, and one was located in (pronounced) mOn-rA-'[a']l -- the nice receptionist lady answers the phone, "Hello, Bounjour", and I was stunned for a second or two.

thinks"She said hello twice ... am I supposed to greet her back twice?

"

[ January 28, 2003, 22:23: Message edited by: Arkcon ]

Arkcon · #**122** January 29th, 2003, 12:21 AM

So, why wasn't Jesus Christ born in Italy?

They couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

I told this to my father and sister, and they both said, "Nothing in that joke is specific to Italians, you could have put any nationality there, why are you dumping on ours?"

I told my mother, and she looked at me puzzled for 3 seconds, then put down the iron, put her head on the ironing board, and laughed hilariously for a solid minute.

Some people have more fun just being a contrarion. That's their choice. But if something could be funny, you should give it a chance to move you.

tbontob · #**123** January 29th, 2003, 12:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by David Gervais:
..I'm an english speaking Canadian living in Quebec,.. I have the right to remain silent, anything I say can and will be used against me by the Language Police. I have the right to an atourny, if I can not afford one a unilingual french speaking avocat will be provided for me...

I read this somewhere way back, I find it really funny. Personally I'm bilingual so I don't have this kind of problem, My problem is that the french think I speak with an english accent and the english think I speak with a french accent! Probably because I throw in words from both Languages and this confuses them!

Nuf said! Cheers!

So, you are condemned by both and have friends with neither?

tbontob · #**124** January 29th, 2003, 01:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by tbontob:
So, you are condemned by both and have friends with neither?

[/QB]

Ooops. David, I did not in any way mean to imply you friendless.

I type so fast that sometimes, my brain lags behind my fingers!

Personally, I have not experienced the discrimination in Quebec. Do you live in Montreal which has a significant "English" speaking population?

Anyways, it is interesting that most of the population in Quebec speak English and French. Yet my impression is that people are labelled to be in one camp or the other.

What I thought was funny was that you appeared to go out of your way to give the impression of being neither French or English and thereby find yourself shunned by righteous Frenchmen and Englishmen. Most significantly, you seemed to enjoy it.

minipol · #**125** January 29th, 2003, 02:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Arkcon:
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.

is a real old one. I'm sure I heard it in kindergarten. I say again, does that just sound funny in French with a German accent or what?

To be honest, i have never heard that joke before. Anyway, one has to wonder how they collect data and how representative their method is.
I don't think it's very scientific.

[Edit to correct a missing "[" ]

[ January 28, 2003, 12:47: Message edited by: minipol ]

tbontob · #**126** January 29th, 2003, 03:51 AM

Double oops.

I may have given the impression that I "lived" in Quebec and was talking from personal experience.

I haven't!

The furthest east I have been is Hull Quebec and that is only for about 15 minutes.

So whatever I asserted came from second hand sources...other people, the media etc.

For those not in the know, Hull, Quebec is the sister city of our national capital, Ottawa, Ontario and lies just across the Ottawa river.

David E. Gervais · #**127** January 29th, 2003, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tbontob:
Ooops. David, I did not in any way mean to imply you friendless.

What I thought was funny was that you appeared to go out of your way to give the impression of being neither French or English and thereby find yourself shunned by righteous Frenchmen and Englishmen. Most significantly, you seemed to enjoy it.

First, I have 3 very good friends One see's no evil, one speaks no evil, and the other hears no evil. I try my best to make up for their shortcommings!

I, like every bilingual speaking person in Quebec find it both funny and sad that the extreme minority (unilingual french and english) of Quebec are strongly represented by both the dueling political parties but the majority (70%+) bilingual speaking people are always left in the wings. It's a shame how much energy and money is lost over something as trivial as language! Especially when there are so many other more important problems to be fixed like the health-care system!

Nuf said! Cheers!

Kaladaar · #**128** January 30th, 2003, 01:01 AM

Getting back to the reason for this thread:

A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy. The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes it is." Boy - "I have a baseball." Man - "That's nice." Boy - "Want to buy it?" Man - "No, thanks." Boy - "My dad's outside." Man - "OK, how much?" Boy - "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together. Boy - "Dark in here." Man - "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball glove." The lover, remembering the Last time, asks the boy, "How much?" Boy - "$750." Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth." The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says "$1,000." The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess." They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and he closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here." The minister says, "Don't start that with me again."

Sinapus · #**129** January 30th, 2003, 01:59 AM

http://satirewire.com/news/feb02/warship.shtml

"Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is this world coming to?"

tbontob · #**130** January 30th, 2003, 02:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by David Gervais:

quote:
Originally posted by tbontob:
Ooops. David, I did not in any way mean to imply you friendless.

What I thought was funny was that you appeared to go out of your way to give the impression of being neither French or English and thereby find yourself shunned by righteous Frenchmen and Englishmen. Most significantly, you seemed to enjoy it.

First, I have 3 very good friends One see's no evil, one speaks no evil, and the other hears no evil. I try my best to make up for their shortcommings!

I, like every bilingual speaking person in Quebec find it both funny and sad that the extreme minority (unilingual french and english) of Quebec are strongly represented by both the dueling political parties but the majority (70%+) bilingual speaking people are always left in the wings. It's a shame how much energy and money is lost over something as trivial as language! Especially when there are so many other more important problems to be fixed like the health-care system!

Nuf said! Cheers!

Hmmmm

I agree with you that it is unfortunate that language should be a divisive force among people.

IMHO, religion is a close second. Most Christian sects are in agreement on most of the fundamental tenants of Christianity. Until 9/11, it could be asserted that Christians disliked each other more for their differences (if the 'other' belonged to a diffent sect) than Muslims.

The 9/11 event seems to have escalated the dislike some people have against Muslims. I do wonder if the increased hatred expressed by some 'Christians' is really a shift in their focus from 'other Christians' to Muslims.

But enough of speculation and back to the topic.

It would seem that this would be an opportunity for a third political party to represent the 'bilingual' people of Quebec.

Why isn't one doing so?