The Funniest Canadian Joke. - Page 11

Kamog · #**101** January 27th, 2003, 03:40 AM

Sometimes you need to double post if the thread has moved down far in the list, and you have a new thought that you want to mention. If you just edit your previous post, it will not bump the thread up to the top, so people may not know that you added something. Of course, this is only necessary if there's a long time gap between the first post and the second post.

Fyron · #**102** January 27th, 2003, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by tbontob:

quote:
Originally posted by Imperator Fyron:
Shame on the both of you.

Hate to say this Fyron, but I know you are guilty of the occasional double post!

And maybe even the triple post?

Maybe the "shame" pointing finger is pointing in the wrong direction.

Tbontob, the only time I do that is to bump a post that needs bumping, or if a long period of time has passed between the Posts (a few minutes to an hour does not qualify as a long time).

Arkcon · #**103** January 27th, 2003, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by minipol:

quote:
Originally posted by Arkcon:

All I can say is ... what is with those Belgians? Nothing personal, but that's a real old one guys. I know you can do better.

Hey, don't mess with us Belgians!
I personaly find it funny. It just seems that every people likes jokes that make fun of another people but when it makes fun of their own country, they don't find it funny anymore.
[Edit] We have the American - Canadian thing here to with Belgium and the Netherlands. We have the same jokes, when they tell them, the Belgians are the stupid ones and when we tell them, the Dutch arethe stupid. Some of those jokes are also reaaally old and not so funny but somehow, they are kept alive

I was waiting for someone from Europe to weigh in on that. I mean, really:

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.

is a real old one. I'm sure I heard it in kindergarten. I say again, does that just sound funny in French with a German accent or what?

At least this one is cool in a surreal way:

An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote:
�Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.�
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: �There are only nine words here. You could send another �Woof� for the same price.�
�But,� the dog replied, �that would make no sense at all.�

primitive · #**104** January 27th, 2003, 04:26 PM

Arcon:
A Telegraph office, that must be a really new joke, I think the Last one closed about 40 Years ago.

A Man goes into a pub. Under his arm is a large box, which he places on the bar and opens. Inside is a tiny little man playing a piano. He plays beautifully, pop music, classics and jazz. Everyone in the pub falls silent and gathers round to watch this astonishing phenomenon. - “Where did you find him?” asks the publican. - “Well, I was beachcombing the other day when I came upon a rusty old fashioned lamp. I rubbed at it to try to clear off some of the barnacles and weed, and a genie leapt out and offered me any wish I cared to name” . - “I’d love to have a go at that” says the publican, “can you give me directions so that I can find the rusty lamp?” - ”Sure" . A week later, the man with the box under his arm returns to the pub, pushes open the door and is astonished when he sees the change the pub has undergone in the space of one short week. Everywhere he looks; there are thousands of ducks - some in china, some papier mache, some wood some metal, in all kinds of colors, shapes and designs. - “Well, the pub looks fantastic” he says to the publican, “but tell me, did you go down to the beach and find that rusty lamp.” - “I certainly did” replies the publican, “Your directions were very clear. I found the lamp, rubbed it, and - just as you described, out leapt the genie. One thing, though - I think he’s a little hard of hearing, because I didn’t ask him for masses of fantastic ducks” - “I know what you mean. I didn’t ask him for a 12-inch pianist either”.

Growltigger · #**105** January 27th, 2003, 04:33 PM

Imagine the scene, it HM the Queen's Birthday and the Coldstream Guards are marshalled in serried ranks in full dress uniform before the gates of Buckingham Palace.

The Regimental Sergeant Major is marching down the ranks, inspecting the troops and making sure that their full dress uniform is absolutely tip top.

The Queen's cavalcade is rapidly approaching as the RSM gets to the third rank. He is amazed to see a 7 foot tall Zulu warrior standing proudly in the ranks, resplendant with assegai, rhinoceros hide shield, leopard skin thong and armbands, ostrich plumes in his hair and lion-tooth necklace.

The RSM is flabberghasted and says, "How the hell did you get into the Coldstream Guards?" and the Zulu says "I lied about my age".

tbontob · #**106** January 27th, 2003, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Imperator Fyron:

quote:
Originally posted by tbontob:

quote:
Originally posted by Imperator Fyron:
Shame on the both of you.

Hate to say this Fyron, but I know you are guilty of the occasional double post!

And maybe even the triple post?

Maybe the "shame" pointing finger is pointing in the wrong direction.
Tbontob, the only time I do that is to bump a post that needs bumping, or if a long period of time has passed between the Posts (a few minutes to an hour does not qualify as a long time).

No Fyron, fess up!

I've seen your double Posts and there was no, and I repeat no, bumping.

Hmmm. Should I repeat the "no bumping" part for emphasis?

Time to admit you are just as mortal as the rest of us.

Growltigger · #**107** January 27th, 2003, 06:04 PM

This thread is headed "The Funniest Canadian Joke" so logically, isn't it meant to be relative to what our Canadian posters find amusing, and that any judgment as to the humour content of any alledged comical story posted on this thread has to be subjectively assessed by those forum posters who lurk north of the border?

Which, in turn, means that neither I (posting from God's own earth, land of the free etc England) or Imperator Fyron (being a Californian and therefore not qualified to opine on humour at all) nor any other non-moose-kissing poster is entitled to comment on the laugh quotient of any post in this thread.

Canadians of the world, stop fiddling with your bits, put down that moose and tell us what makes you really laugh

BadAxe · #**108** January 27th, 2003, 06:17 PM

Why do Canadians make love doggie style?

So they can both watch Hockey Night in Canada!

Growltigger · #**109** January 27th, 2003, 06:19 PM

Q Why do Canadians bonk Moose on the edge of cliffs??

A So the Moose pushes back harder!!

Q What do you call a Canadian with more than 1 girlfriend?

A A Moose herder

Q What does a Canadian girl say after making love?

A You all in the same hockey team then?

Q What do you call 50 Americans falling off the edge of a cliff?

A A damn good start

Q What is the difference between a washing machine and a Canadian girl?

A The washing machine doesnt follow you round for hours after you have stuffed your load in it

[ January 27, 2003, 16:22: Message edited by: growltigger ]

Krsqk · #**110** January 27th, 2003, 07:44 PM

Quote:

This thread is headed "The Funniest Canadian Joke" so logically, isn't it meant to be relative to what our Canadian posters find amusing, and that any judgment as to the humour content of any alledged comical story posted on this thread has to be subjectively assessed by those forum posters who lurk north of the border?

No, I thought it was for the funniest jokes about Canadians.