[AAR] Wei got destroyed in 1day, but is that all?

[CaoCao]

This is "kind" of a "after action report" from a game I played. Just so you know all of this is true and has acutally happened ig! The pictures are proof!
(hmm lets say "most")

You will not believe what happened and who I encountered in my last dom game...
But I will tell the story from the beginning

My name's Cao Cao(yes thats really me!), mightiest Emperor of T'ien Ch'i(actually I prefer to call it Wei...) there ever was,
ablest ruler in whole history, great ancestor of all and so one! (read one of the countless books about me for more praise)

My armies from the beginning strong and unbeatable, ok ok there was some set backs, but when my greatest general
Hou Ji claimed a latern shield after defeating a enemy commander in a duel, even the last enemy trembled before me!
(Probably before my able generals and armies...so not exactly me, but you get the point!
Would be kinda hard for them to do so anyway because I never left my nice palace...so its not my fault you know!)
And yes before you ask, the shield was really that great, I was told! Looked fancy and all.

So one day, or like always, I sat proudly in my celestial palace taking pleasure in one of the many ways a emperor like me can even imagine,
so not that much at all actually...
But oh well I just sat there and had fun!
Why should I had any worry while knowing that my armies dominate the known world and soon it would be all mine?
Who could stand against someone like me? Nobody! But luckly he lived in a much later era then me!...

But then... my most trusted and noble general Hou Ji came rushing into my palace, scaring not only me but all the nice women...
I nearly died from a heart attack, normally they just leave me alone here in my palace...
but anyway, angrly I raised my fist, thinking about the right words to decide his death,
but before I had even started to figure out something he already told me about the unbelieveable that just happened!
The whole palace shivered at hearing such unimaginable horror! And before he had finished I was long gone, hiding somewhere far far away!
But then I realised there was nowhere to run... so I returned and heard the rest of his report.

My dome was decided by a Master of Dead! Having raised a army unnoticed by my officers, he now besieged my palace.
Only around 20 years or so, till he surely had got to me...
With all that magical winebags no ordinary siege is to be feared!
But well of course it was no ordinary one and even though I had hundreds of troops and generals and mages and spaceships and what not.
I knew I was doomed and nothing could be done to change it. All I worked so hard for, destroyed in a single day!
Pretty sad I figured out a hour or so later.

But yes you probably already imagine, but Liu Bei was the name of the Master of Dead...knowing Zhuge Liang would not be far,
I opened the city gates, while my sons and most of anything retreated with the spaceships(damn cowards!left me behind...not that I would have run like that of course!)


With no one left but me, my master plan to assassinate Liu Bei und Zhuge Liang of course had become impossible, so I surrendered.
Hoping they would spare me and give me a nice rank in their new empire... and of course they did! hahaha! Otherwise I could not have written this right? Im so smart,
I just hope they dont read this and figure out I was to assassinate them... if you do, its only a joke for the readers!

*added from Jiang Wei???*
Sadly for poor Cao Cao I saw through his masterminded plan of great evil and revealed it to primeminster Zhuge Liang, my personal superhero btw!
He wanted to spare that scoundrel... but I told him about Liu Beis halfbrother, not even Liu Bei knew about and how Cao Cao killed him and that he must be avenged at any cost!

*added from some important dude*
Zhuge Liang sadly saw through Jiang Weis great scheme and executed both Cao Cao and him, so in the end he still got what he wanted!

Oh and after that all Liu Bei died of old age...poor old bugger. His son being a complete idiot, the greatest there ever was to be exactly,
ruined the empire then in a single day when he was eaten by a wild monster rat.
(I heard it was around level 0, so not really a shame to be eaten by such a strong monster...) It was the greatest humiliation ever to be honest...

So in the end Wei(T'ien Ch'i) actually still won the game,
just with a dead Cao Cao, as the great ancestor of all he shall be remembered.

How did former Wei now called Hou Hu united the whole world you may ask? Now thats not hard to tell Hou Ji had not left with the rest in the spaceships
and of course he still had his lantern shield, so he took the enemy all by himself
and became known as flying lantern shield wielding General of the West(or was it East?...hmm), who wins favour of heaven and becomes new emperor!
He also got the posthumous title of Commander of the flying Corpse Candles
(He may acutally have raised some armies and employed new officers and mages and all that but Im not to sure about that)

And to be honest I think Liu Bei was an imposter, because nobody(he told me later) actually saw Zhuge Liang or Jiang Wei with him...
AND I dont believe Hou Ji would have had a chance against Zhuge, even with the mighty Lantern Shield.
Nor would Zhuge have put Jiang Wei to death...
Ok ok to tell the truth I know it wasn't them because I met them somewhere else...

But the adventures of these both may be told another day... (so you have to pay for the next edition again hgegegehehehehe...)

Oh and actually it was both east and west!