[OT] Cr*ppy Belgium

[Growltigger]

My local pub does draft "Duval" and a dutch beer called "Silvester" - each is �3.70 a pint (about $6 or AUD14) but you really dont need very many before you end up "squaring the hypoteneuse" in the loo (you know when you are so drunk that you have to lean your head on the urinal wall in order to pee straight!)

[Wardad]

Belgium Jokes
You know when you've been in Belgium too long when ...

1. You always stop your car for traffic from even the tiniest little road from the right.

2. You consider breaking the speed limit normal, and honk and flash at people who don't.

3. If you have had less than 10 beers you drive your car home, but you still don't indicate when turning or respect the speed limit.

4. If you have a car, you consider any other means of transportation slightly suspicious.

5. You know the names of at least 10 different sauces for chips.

6. You catch yourself ordering a "Supplement Frites" with every single dish you have in any kind of restaurant.

7. You give other foreigners lectures on the difference between fake and real monastery-produced beer.

8. You don't drink the Last two centilitres of a Westmalle trippel.

9. You never wear any colour brighter than dark green. You automatically assume anyone who does is either a. Dutch
b. Scandinavian
c. American or
d. Extremely childish or rude

10. Just one day without rain even in July and August can make you happy.

11. On Saturday morning and Sunday evening of any sunny summer-weekend you accept spending more than three hours stuck in traffic jams on motorways in order to get to and from 100 km's of coastline that are completely cramped with high-risers 20 meters from the beach.

12. You don't mind that bouncers have to be given at least 20 francs when you leave a disco as a bribe for letting you get in next time

13. You consider it normal that even the train to and from the airport has announcements in both Dutch and French, but not in English. You don't react when all the foreigners storm out of the train at the announcement of Brussels North when coming from the airport.

14. You do all your grocery shopping in either GB or Delhaize, and you don't understand anyone who shops in the other supermarket chain.

15. You consider it normal to go out to a restaurant at least five times per week.

16. You think it is logical that shops are closed Sundays and evenings, but buy the booze you consume in night-shops between 4 and 5 AM Sunday morning.

17. You use and understand abbreviations like NMBS/SNCB, MIVB/STIB and SMAP/OMOB.

18. You only buy the most up-market chocolate brands, and feel sorry for the geeks who buy "white products".

19. You start going to Quick instead of McDonalds and you have actually tasted the Quick Bearnaise Burger.

20. You think it looks nice when the type of pavement tiles in front of each house are different, and you don't mind falling over lopsided tiles occasionally.

21. You take dog-**** on the pavement as just another challenge on you daily walks.

22. You keep three colours of bin-bags for different kinds of waste, and remember which days to put out which kind of bag on the pavement in front of your house.

23. You don't mind when most streets are full of bags that have been put out on the wrong day, not even in the summer when the combination of the sun and intrepid dogs makes it a very interesting experience.

24. You automatically assume that everyone else speaks at least three Languages, but refuse to speak more than one yourself.

25. You have given up on any sensible political discussion on the language divide in general and the Brussels Capital Region and the future of Belgium in particular.

26. You consider politicians and the police worse than criminals, with the possible exception of paedophiles.

27. You consider it perfectly normal when the names of towns on road signs change from French to Dutch and vice versa every 5 or 10 kilometres of motorway.

28. You have understood that the hassle of monthly visits to the municipality to obtain papers or residence permits is reserved for recently arrived foreigners who move every 6 months, and you therefore don't complain over your own annual visit where you wait in line for an hour or two.

[Puke]

Originally posted by growltigger:
My local pub does draft "Duval"

Duvel? you have Duvel on draft? my god man, how do i emmigrate?

[minipol]

wardad: great list except those aren't jokes. A lot of stuff in that list is plain true. To illustrate one point: driving. An American colleague of mine came to Belgium and wanted to visit Bruges. No probs, we made arrangements to leave after work so we would have time enough to visit Bruges. When she got in the car and we were cruising at 140-150 ks (86-93mph) an hour towards Bruges, she was literally shocked by that speed while other cars where still overtaking us

But this is changing as the policy is controlling far more often, the fines have gone up and they use a lot of unmanned camera's.

It's a good thing our ancestors started making beer. Bless them

I wonder if one of the products you will be able to trade in the upcoming Starfury is going to be beer. I think there should be galactic beer.

[minipol]

Originally posted by Askan Nightbringer:
How much would it cost to mail a case/cart/2 dozen?

I have no idea. I expect that it wouldn't be that cheap. Plus it needs to get there in 1 piece. Having no beer is bad but receiving a case full of broken bottles of beer must be one the worst sights there can be NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Askan Nightbringer]

Originally posted by minipol:
We have a beer called satan too. It's quite tasty. Problem is that all those nice beers are quite expensive abroad. I should set up a SEIV-beer-export-line to ship beer abroad to SEIV players

Well after my 375ml Hoegaarden cost me $8.50 AUD at lunch, and then tonight I was drinking Tooheys New at $2.50 AUD a 425ml Schooner I'de be happy to be involved in a beer export line. How much would it cost to mail a case/cart/2 dozen?

Askan

$1 AUD = $0.60 USD for conVersion sake. Yeh I know beer is cheap in Australia and I should quit complaining.

[dogscoff]

Yeah, Hoegaarden (my favouritest beer) is upwards of 4 quid (ie getting on for 10 US dollars) for a pint (half-litre) in Bournemouth. Worth it though=-)

Far better for me to zip across the channel and buy a car-load from a hypermarket in France at about 50p (1 US dollar) per pint.

[Wardad]

Minipol, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Now for something more outragous....

***
U.S. Secretary Defense Donald Rumsfeld apologized today for referring to France and Germany as an "Axis of Weasels."

"I'm sorry about that Axis of Weasels remark," said Mr. Rumsfeld.

"I didn't mean to dredge up the history France and Germany share of pathetic compliance with ruthless dictators." The Defense Secretary said he was "way out of bounds" with the comments. "I should have known better than to remind people that these two nations--which live in freedom thanks only to the righteous might of America, Britain and their allies--that these nations are morally and politically bankrupt, and have failed to learn the lessons of history," he said.

"It really was an inappropriate thing to say--you know, the Axis of Weasels thing. I really should not have called them the Axis of Weasels.I think it's the 'Weasels' part that was most offensive...you know, when I said that France and Germany form an Axis of Weasels. Of course, I'm so sorry."

"I want it to be known that no other man holds the weasel in as high a regard as I do, and I'll be the first to point out the crucial role this noble creature plays in our ecosystem. I went way over the line comparing the weasel to a bunch of rude, unwashed, leftist Euroweenie surrender monkeys who change their underwear once a month whether they need to or not. And I just did it again, didn't I? I just insulted the monkeys. I'm quitting while I'm ahead."
***

Please no throwing rocks...
I don't believe Rumsfeld is sincere.