Haha Moments like this

Theonlystd · #1 March 23rd, 2009, 03:21 PM

Is why i so enjoy dom3.

Playing as LA Ermor..

I made my starting censor the prophet.. Couple battles we then fought the knights of chalice indy province .. The commander had the full suit of Sun Armor on. Prophet found every piece after the battle.. That mixed with his heroic quickness hall of fame ability and the prophet/gods blessing makes him pretty nasty in combat for this early in the game.

Well fought an indy province with some knights and various infantry.. But it also had a Wizard. Censor is in front killing guys and the other sides wizards is casting dust to dust.. Well he finally manages to hit the square with my censor. Kills the other 2 undead obviously and wounds the censor pretty badly giving him lost one eye affliction. Which was pretty entertaining imaging my censor just had half his head blown off or some such.

But alas he had the last laff. After the meele guys routed..The censor was faster than the other units so got to the ranged guys first.. And got some sweet sweet revenge on the wizard.

Gandalf Parker · #2 March 23rd, 2009, 03:29 PM

Moments like that make me think someone could write a dime novel with a Dom3 game as primary inspiration. Probably make a few bucks.

Scarlioni · #3 March 24th, 2009, 01:58 AM

Was playing middle age Shinuyama and was using massed dai bakemono archers. Had been advancing against a computer opponent with ease. Think I had about two hundred of them using wind giude and flaming arrows and hadnt suffered casualties in a while. I had a battle against about 70 assorted trash of the type the AI will send at you in endless waves. I suffered a casualty. I was intriuged enough to watch the battle.

So I watch the battle and first thing one of my archers goes charging across the battlefield and impales himself on the enemy before they fled. WTF? The battle ended so fast that I had to rewatch the battle a couple of times before I sucessfully clicked upon my suicidal archer.

He had two afflictions, he'd lost both arms. I fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard. I wasnt aware at the time the game tracked afflictions on my lowly troopers. The real kicker was my armless archer was "armed" with a fist.

DonCorazon · #4 March 24th, 2009, 02:23 AM

Hehe, a mere flesh wound...

Incabulos · #5 March 24th, 2009, 12:32 PM

haha he should have used a headbutt attack.

Theonlystd · #6 March 24th, 2009, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incabulos

haha he should have used a headbutt attack.

Indeed that would of been pure awesome.

Wrana · #7 March 25th, 2009, 05:14 PM

Should have probably been a 'useless kick'. Bug?

But having headbutt would be nice, too...

cleveland · #8 March 25th, 2009, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gandalf Parker

Moments like that make me think someone could write a dime novel with a Dom3 game as primary inspiration. Probably make a few bucks.

Hmmmmm.....

Excerpt from LORD OF THE DAI'S

Chapter 3: Taming the wild lands.

...The gallant archer screamed in pain; a missile - quite obviously errant given the Tribesmens' aim - found the weakness in his shoulder's armor. There, on the ground, lay his useless appendage still clutching the longbow that had served him so well through the campaign. Mad with rage, he drew his sword, and charged forth toward the heathan's ranks! 50 yards!...40 yards!...he beings to make out the whites of ther eyes when suddenly the sky above him erupts with the glow of a thousand silent comets, each spitting a vile, smokey trail behind itself as it homes toward the pathetic mass of pagans. When the volley lands, panic ensues. The Shaman, thier demigod, collapses neatly to the ground like a skillfully downed elk...with a burning arrow through his face. The rabble flees quickly, too quickly in fact for the former archer to exact a single ounce of vengence.
As the campaign matures, he charges forth at each engagement, hoping to fill the void of his missing limb. But no matter the foe, they all seem to flee - perhaps due to his manical charges, perhaps to the hundreds of flaming arrows that kill/maim most of them prior to his arrival - before he can reach their line.
Until one foul day, while raging toward some gaggle of barbarians, an unlucky breeze preempted a funny feeling that his No-Dashi had become quite suddenly and inexplicably less heavy...inquisitively, he looked down to see...you guessed it...his other arm had been torn off by an errant arrow! And this one loosed by his own comrades! Oh fate! What are the chances?!? Cruel DRN!
Insane with, well, insanity, our armless hero grasps his own severed appendage with his teeth, and continues his misguided sprint toward the enemy horde! Whipping his head back-and-forth and hollering muffled curses, his sword - unbeknownst to the dismembered member - flies uselessly to the side, though the tenacious hand grips on. The spectacle is beyond words: a green, armless samauri flails his own severed arm in his mouth while its clutched fist jabs comically at the empty air. The barbarians, needless to say, were not amused..."

Theonlystd · #9 March 25th, 2009, 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cleveland

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gandalf Parker

Moments like that make me think someone could write a dime novel with a Dom3 game as primary inspiration. Probably make a few bucks.

Hmmmmm.....

Excerpt from LORD OF THE DAI'S

Chapter 3: Taming the wild lands.

...The gallant archer screamed in pain; a missile - quite obviously errant given the Tribesmens' aim - found the weakness in his shoulder's armor. There, on the ground, lay his useless appendage still clutching the longbow that had served him so well through the campaign. Mad with rage, he drew his sword, and charged forth toward the heathan's ranks! 50 yards!...40 yards!...he beings to make out the whites of ther eyes when suddenly the sky above him erupts with the glow of a thousand silent comets, each spitting a vile, smokey trail behind itself as it homes toward the pathetic mass of pagans. When the volley lands, panic ensues. The Shaman, thier demigod, collapses neatly to the ground like a skillfully downed elk...with a burning arrow through his face. The rabble flees quickly, too quickly in fact for the former archer to exact a single ounce of vengence.
As the campaign matures, he charges forth at each engagement, hoping to fill the void of his missing limb. But no matter the foe, they all seem to flee - perhaps due to his manical charges, perhaps to the hundreds of flaming arrows that kill/maim most of them prior to his arrival - before he can reach their line.
Until one foul day, while raging toward some gaggle of barbarians, an unlucky breeze preempted a funny feeling that his No-Dashi had become quite suddenly and inexplicably less heavy...inquisitively, he looked down to see...you guessed it...his other arm had been torn off by an errant arrow! And this one loosed by his own comrades! Oh fate! What are the chances?!? Cruel DRN!
Insane with, well, insanity, our armless hero grasps his own severed appendage with his teeth, and continues his misguided sprint toward the enemy horde! Whipping his head back-and-forth and hollering muffled curses, his sword - unbeknownst to the dismembered member - flies uselessly to the side, though the tenacious hand grips on. The spectacle is beyond words: a green, armless samauri flails his own severed arm in his mouth while its clutched fist jabs comically at the empty air. The barbarians, needless to say, were not amused..."

ahahah A++

Gandalf Parker · #10 March 26th, 2009, 12:55 AM

Great writing.
You know you can publish that into a printed book online for free, and make a couple bucks off of every purchase of it. Seriously you might want to consider doing a full book of a game.

And if you balance the storyline (maybe the left-side pages) with the actual game info (the right-side pages) it might serv as story, tutorial, demo, etc.

And on the same webpage you sell your book you can link to Dominions 3 the game to make commission off every copy that sells thru your link.

Gandalf Parker
--
www.Any1can.net