Jokes and Riddles Centre

[Kamog]

To weigh...

1 lb: put item on one side of beam and 1-lb weight on other side of balance
2 lb: put item + 1-lb weight on one side and 3-lb weight on other side
3 lb: put item on one side and 3-lb weight on other side
4 lb: put item on one side and 3-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
5 lb: put item + 1-lb + 3-lb weights on one side and 9-lb weight on other side
6 lb: put item + 3-lb weight on one side and 9-lb weight on other side
7 lb: put item + 3-lb weight on one side and 9-lb + 1-lb weight on other side
8 lb: put item + 1-lb weight on one side and 9-lb weight on other side
9 lb: put item on one side and 9-lb weight on other side
10 lb: put item on one side and 9-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
11 lb: put item + 1-lb weight on one side and 9-lb + 3-lb weights on other side
12 lb: put item on one side and 9-lb + 3-lb weights on other side
13 lb: put item one one side and 9-lb + 3-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
14 lb: put item + 9-lb + 3-lb + 1-lb weights on one side, 27-lb weight on other side
15 lb: put item + 9-lb + 3-lb weights on one side, 27-lb weight on other side
16 lb: put item + 9-lb + 3-lb weights on one side, 27-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
17 lb: put item + 9-lb + 1-lb weights on one side, 27-lb weight on other side
18 lb: put item + 9-lb weight on one side, 27-lb weight on other side
19 lb: put item + 9-lb weight on one side, 27-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
20 lb: put item + 9-lb + 1-lb weights on one side, 27-lb + 3-lb weights on other side
21 lb: put item + 9-lb weight on one side, 27-lb + 3-lb weights on other side
22 lb: put item + 9-lb weight on one side, 27-lb + 3-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
23 lb: put item + 3-lb + 1-lb weights on one side, 27-lb weights on other side
24 lb: put item + 3-lb weight on one side, 27-lb weight on other side
25 lb: put item + 3-lb weight on one side, 27-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
26 lb: put item + 1-lb weight on one side, 27-lb weight on other side
27 lb: put item on one side, 27-lb weight on other side
28 lb: put item on one side, 27-lb + 1-lb weight on other side
29 lb: put item + 1-lb weight on one side, 27-lb + 3-lb weights on other side
30 lb: put item on one side, 27-lb + 3-lb weights on other side
31 lb: put item on one side, 27-lb + 3-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
32 lb: put item + 3-lb + 1-lb weights on one side, 27-lb + 9-lb weights on other side
33 lb: put item + 3-lb weight on one side, 27-lb + 9-lb weights on other side
34 lb: put item + 3-lb weight on one side, 27-lb + 9-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
35 lb: put item + 1-lb weithg on one side, 27-lb + 9-lb weights on other side
36 lb: put item on one side, 27-lb + 9-lb weights on other side
37 lb: put item on one side, 27-lb + 9-lb + 1-lb weights on other side
38 lb: put item + 1-lb weight on one side, 27-lb + 9-lb + 3-lb weights on other side
39 lb: put item on one side, 27-lb + 9-lb + 3-lb weights on other side
40 lb: put item on one side, 27-lb + 9-lb + 3-lb + 1-lb weights on other side.

Therefore, you need to cut the 40-lb rock into 4 pieces: 27-lb, 9-lb, 3-lb, 1-lb.

[Wardad]

Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's office to collect his wife's test results.
The lab technician says to him, "I'm sorry, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife's. Frankly, it's either bad or terrible!
"What do you mean?" said Mr. Smith.

"Well, one Mrs. Smith has tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other Mrs. Smith has tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which is your wife."

"That's terrible!" Mr. Smith said. "Can we do the test over again?"

"Normally, yes. But you have OHIP Care and they will not pay for these expensive tests more than once."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?" said Mr. Smith.

"OHIP recommends that you drop your wife off in the middle of town.
If she finds her way home don't sleep with her!"

[Wardad]

Some good little movies. It takes a moment to load but worth it.

http://www.markfiore.com/animation/delay.html

http://www.markfiore.com/animation/planner.html

http://www.markfiore.com/animation/damage.html

http://www.markfiore.com/animation/recall.html

http://www.markfiore.com/animation/wmd.html

http://www.markfiore.com/animation/photoop.html

http://www.markfiore.com/animation/taxcut.html

http://www.markfiore.com/animation/shocko.html

[Erax]

Narf, you can use your regular account from another computer.

[Narf'scompatshop]

i don't know my password.

[Fyron]

Isn't there an "email me my password" option? If not, just have Richard or Tim Brooks email it to the email account your Shrapnel account was created with. They should have no security concerns about that.

[Kamog]

The surgeon is the son's mother.

[Ruatha]

Yep, surprising how many that doesn't think of that.

[Ruatha]

An old riddle, might have been told already here;

A son is out riding in a car with his father, there is a tragic accident and the father dies.
The son is severely injuried and is taken to a hospital, on the way into the operating room the surgeon sees the patients face and exclaims; "Oh no, it's my son!".

Who is the surgeon?

[Narf'scompatshop]

you forgot to mention that the father was a surgeon.

anybody want a hint, or just the solution to my riddle?