Jokes and Riddles Centre

[BBegemott]

Thtas irnesttineg!

aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

[Wardad]

There was a boy and a girl in a doctors waiting room.
The girl starts crying.
"whats wrong?" asks the boy
"Im having a blood test so their cutting my finger" replies the girl.
At this the boy starts crying.
"whats the matter?" asked the girl.
"im having a urine test" replies the boy.

[Fyron]

Originally posted by deccan:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Imperator Fyron:

quote:

---

Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?"

And the man replies, "My God! Don't tell me that you've got internet access to Intel Forums!"

I like that punch line!

---

Did Intel Forums exist 10 years ago?

---

Who is to say he didn't get shipwreaked yesterday and this is telling what happens in 10 years?

[narf poit chez BOOM]

BBegemott, go to the 'spelling is out' thread.

[Wardad]

Good luck!!

http://www.beer.com/brands/us/labattblue/pop_game1.html

[Wardad]

A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make-up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for him. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.

[Kamog]

Originally posted by Wardad:
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Hopefully, she was the one who did the stock investing. If not, that's OK too.

[Jack Simth]

Originally posted by Wardad:
Men are like that, you know.

He didn't exactly need the money - he had $15,000 readily available to spend on the test, so it is decidedly unlikely he's usually strapped for cash. He found all three results equally pleasing, and had to find something for a tiebreaker. Makes perfect sense.

[narf poit chez BOOM]

speaking as one who stopped watching baywatch because i couldn't find any brains...

[Ed Kolis]

Two geeks walk into a bar and sit down...
One geek says to the other, "You know, I had the strangest dream Last night. I dreamed that Windows XP had a secret lockout feature that keeps anyone who uses it from sleeping with more than 32 women!"
The other geek turns to him ans says, "That's completely ridiculous - everyone knows that the mere act of touching a computer prevents you from sleeping with more than 0 women!"

(yes, this joke is inspired by an actual dream I had Last night! )