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  #1  
Old October 4th, 2002, 07:05 PM
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Ragnarok Ragnarok is offline
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Default Hevordah Imperium - Story thread - Updated 6-13-03!

Ok, this is my first attempt at a story, ever. I just thought I'd give it a shot. I enjoy writing it's trying to figure out how to take the story that's the hard part. This will be a slow moving story, as it is hard for me to find the time to write, so don't expect it to keep up with the other threads. But all comments are welcome, good or bad. As long as I get some feedback. Please excuse the grammer and so forth, that has never been my A subject. I hope you all enjoy the story.

The story may seem to be unfinished at the end of some sections. But it will pick up where left off in the next installment.

Edit: I'm going to eventually transform it into a webpage type deal and have some images and so forth of different events. This is on down the road though, once the story has developed some.

[ June 13, 2003, 20:00: Message edited by: Ragnarok ]
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Ragnarok - Hevordian Story Thread
-------------------
I think...therefore I am confused.
They were armed. With guns, said Omari.
Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is this world coming to?
The dreaded derelict dwelling two ton devil bunny!
Every ship can be a minesweeper... Once
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  #2  
Old October 4th, 2002, 07:08 PM
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Default Re: Hevordah Imperium - Story thread - Updated 6-13-03!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Introduction, Part 1. 2283.3.

Qullum was walking along one day on his way to work. He suddenly stops, his normally white eyes with a hint of yellow turn to a pure bright white, he falls to his hands and knees, and then he starts to scream. He can�t stop screaming. He does everything in his power to try and stop that awful screeching in his head. He then falls to his side. He lays there for a good 10 to 15 minutes before it suddenly stops, and his eyes return to normal. He gets up, as if nothing ever happened to him. He continues his trip to work, not knowing that a single thing that just happened to him.

On his way home from work Qullum once again suddenly stops, again, falls to his hands and knees, and starts to scream in pain. He can�t stop it. Cannot stop the�noise. There is absolutely nothing in his power he can do to stop it. Another 10 to 15 minutes pass, then, just as suddenly as it started, it stops. He gets up, completely oblivious as to what just happened to him, he continues on his journey home.

Qullum was sitting at home with his wife, Shearma, and his son, Qullum Jr., watching the evening news. �Welcome to tonight�s broadcast of HevoraNews, I�m Zor�ka Mi�cle. The news piece of the hour is that the 5-year civil war between the Hevordah and the Hevordag is finally showing signs of coming to a close. It is unknown as to how this happened, though. The Hevordag were holding off the Hevordah people and actually pushing them back. But then, suddenly, the Hevordag just stopped fighting. It has been said, however, that if something happened to their Overlord, even if for a brief moment, that the Hevordag would crumble. So we can only assume that something has happened t�wha�this just in� it�s now been brought to the attention from one of our reporters on location in Ho�og, where all the action is happening as we speak, that they have seen the Overlord of the Hevordag faction stepping outside his palace and just drop to his hands and knees, and then start screaming. He sat there for at least 15 minutes screaming at the top of his lungs, apparently he could control it.�

Then suddenly, Qullum too starts to scream. His wife panics, her skin goes from a normally purplish tent to a purple and green mix � this indicating fear, and worry. For the third time in one day he falls to his hands and knees and screams. No matter how hard he tries, he just cannot stop it. Not knowing what to do, Shearma grabs her communicator and calls the Emergency Room. They immediately teleport her husband to Emergency Unit 3 where they begin working on him.
�Nurse, what�s his life signs?�
�Everything seems to be in check, his BP is slightly high, and his heart rate is high, but those signs are to be expected since he is after all screaming his lungs off.�
�Hmmm, Ok� get the Cortical Stimulator; we�ll see if this will at least stop his screaming for now. Then we can run some more tests.�
Just as the nurse was handing the Doctor the Stimulator, Qullum suddenly stops screaming and awakens. Bewildered by the fact that he is in the Emergency Room he begins to ask questions.
�What the hell am I doing here? I was in my living room watching the evening news with my wife and son, and next thing I know I�m sitting here.�
The Doctor thinks to himself, �What the hell?!�
�Sir, I�m afraid I don�t have those answers for you. I�m still trying to figure out what the hell just happened here. Your wife called and said you were screaming your lungs off so we had you teleported here. I was just about to administer the Cortical Stimulator, when suddenly you stopped screaming and woke up.�
�What do you mean I was screaming? I already told you, I was sitting in my living room with my wife and son, next thing I know I�m here. I feel fine, and with all due respect, I think I�d know if I was screaming or not.�
�Well think what you want, but we have it all on the surveillance cameras if you want us to prove it to you.�
�No, that won�t be necessary. I suppose if my wife says that I was screaming that�s enough for me.�
�Ok, now if you don�t mind we�re going to run a few more test to try and figure out what exactly happened here.�
�Alright, do whatever is necessary.�

Somewhere else in the galaxy.
�Ok Massster, it has been done. Their Pssychic powerss are coming to the ssurface. It iss only a matter of time before thiss, Qullum, figuress out what iss the causse to all his problemss.�
A tall dark sleek man steps out of the shadows, to a point where only his face his showing, he then says, �Very well. Then we sshall ssee if the ancient textss are correct in ssaying that the Hevordah are the chossen oness to rule the galaxy.�

[ October 10, 2002, 05:08: Message edited by: Ragnarok ]
__________________
Ragnarok - Hevordian Story Thread
-------------------
I think...therefore I am confused.
They were armed. With guns, said Omari.
Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is this world coming to?
The dreaded derelict dwelling two ton devil bunny!
Every ship can be a minesweeper... Once
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  #3  
Old October 4th, 2002, 08:22 PM
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Suicide Junkie Suicide Junkie is offline
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Default Re: Hevordah Imperium - Story thread - Updated 6-13-03!

Quote:
I enjoy writing it's trying to figure out how to take the story that's the hard part.
Many stories are based on an actual game of SE4. The game handles a lot of the plot, and keeps track of where ships and empires are

The story is looking good, but it could probably use a little background info. I am seeing humans in the story, rather than Hevordah.
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  #4  
Old October 4th, 2002, 08:23 PM

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Default Re: Hevordah Imperium - Story thread - Updated 6-13-03!

GREAT start! I will be following this story closely!
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  #5  
Old October 4th, 2002, 08:43 PM
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Default Re: Hevordah Imperium - Story thread - Updated 6-13-03!

Quote:
Many stories are based on an actual game of SE4. The game handles a lot of the plot, and keeps track of where ships and empires are
I figured that would be the case. But the part of trying to add more detail is what I meant. I'm sure some late nights and I shouldn't have any problems coming up with anything.

Quote:
it could probably use a little background info. I am seeing humans in the story, rather than Hevordah
What kind of background info do you speak of? Like more of where they came from and such? I will try to add some more as the story unfolds.
The are human in a way. The only difference is that they are much taller, and live much longer. Also they breath Hydrogen, and they have "Powers" which will unfold in the next couple installments. But I didn't want to use a human race, but I didn't want to try and use a completly alien race either since I am a newbie at writing stories. Doing it this way simplifies it for me to a certain extent. However, I will also try to add a little bit more alieness into the story.

Quote:
GREAT start! I will be following this story closely!
Thanks Sachmo, I will try to make the rest of the story just as interesting as the first part. Reading your story thread sort of inspired me to attempt my own story. If I can make this story half as good as the one you wrote then I will be extreamly pleased with the outcome.

[ October 04, 2002, 20:07: Message edited by: Ragnarok ]
__________________
Ragnarok - Hevordian Story Thread
-------------------
I think...therefore I am confused.
They were armed. With guns, said Omari.
Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is this world coming to?
The dreaded derelict dwelling two ton devil bunny!
Every ship can be a minesweeper... Once
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old October 5th, 2002, 06:40 AM
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Default Re: Hevordah Imperium - Story thread - Updated 6-13-03!

Note: Introduction part 2 is here. Once again, feedback is welcome. I wrote most of this one this morning. I just finished up a little bit tonight. I'm working on Part 3 now. Long introduction I know. Do ya'll think I should change the names to be more 'alien'? I'm thinking about it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Introduction, Part 2.
2 days later.


The Doctor walked into Unit 3 where Qullum was admitted. His wife and son happened to be there at the time.
�Hey Jr. would you mind excusing me and your folks for a little while, we have to discuss a few big people things.�
Little Jr. starts to whine as he is asked to leave. �Ohhh, do I gotta? I want to stay here and talk too.�
�It is probably best if you don�t son, you can go play in the play room with the other kids while Mommy and Daddy talk to the Doctor, ok?�
�Gee, fine! But I never get to be in the room when you guys talk.� As Jr. stands up to leave he gives his mom a hug and kiss but gives his dad an evil look as if to mock him for not letting him stay in the room.
The Doctor proceeded to look at Qullum�s chart; then he took a seat knowing that this could end up being a long conversation.
�Qullum, after all the tests that we ran over the past 48 hours, we cannot find the source to your screaming spells. In fact, in my 80 years of medicine, I�ve never seen anything like this before. And I�ve been all over the world practicing. I even served the Hevordag when they first rose against Hevordah. In the 2 days that you have been here, you have had 6 spells of your screaming. There is no medical and/or scientific explanation for what is happening to you. You do, however, seem to be consistent with your spells, even though you do not have any control over them. Here are the stats.�
The Doctor reaches across the space that was between him and Qullum and Shearma, he handed them a H-Padd to look over. It contained information regarding the spells that Qullum had been having. This is what it had to say.
�--Number of spells thus far: 7 that we know of.
--Average time between spells: 8 hours.
--Average time spells Last: 12.3 minutes.
--Scientific findings as to the cause: None.
--Medical findings as to the cause: None.
--Shortest spell: 9 minutes.
--Longest spell: 17 minutes.
--Cause: Unknown.�
Qullum and his lovely wife of 45 years look at each other momentarily, as Shearma hands the H-Padd back to the Doctor she asks, �But how can there possibly be no scientific or medical explanation as to what is happening to my husband? There has to be some reason for this. Do you have any possible links to other cases like this, anywhere?�
�I have been in contact with professionals around the world trying to figure this mystery out. I even called my old colleague from the Hevordag Institute. He did mention one factor that I find puzzling. Last night the Civil War came to an end, and the Hevordag surrendered to the Hevordah. They are trying to figure out why it just came to an end as it did. The Hevordag were holding their own, in fact they were pushing the Hevordah out of their territory. But then suddenly their Overlord came out of his palace screaming.� A look of shock and wonderment overtake the faces of Qullum and his beautiful wife. They looked at each other wondering�No, it couldn�t be�� I had that colleague of mine do some research on this. He found that the Overlord went into his spell at the exact same time as you husband did, and they both came out of their respective spells at the exact same time. They took the Overlord to the Hevordag Institute and he has been having the same spells every 8 hours, each of them Lasting an average of 12 minutes or so.�
Once again, both shock and curiosity overcome Qullum and Shearma. Then Qullum breaks the silence.
�Doctor, Do you think, or are you trying to say that the Hevordag Overlord and I are somehow linked?�
�I don�t know Qullum, but I highly doubt that you are linked. It�s just simply not possible. Only in the telenovels is this possible. But right now it seems to be the only explanation.�
�But, how can this be possible?� Shearma asked.
�I cannot say for sure on that either Shearma. Currently my colleague is in the process of trying to figure that out as well as many other professionals in the science lab downstairs.�
Qullum tried to absorb all that has happened to him in the past 36 hours. He then asks the Doctor, �Hey, Doc, why is it that I don�t remember any of my spells?�
�Well, that is one thing we have been able to figure out. When you go through one of your spells, one section of your brain is �cut off� from the rest so to speak. This section of the brain controls your memory, once this part of your brain is �cut off� from the rest, it cannot remember anything that happened to you in that time period. However, we have not figured out why this part of your brain is �cut off� from the rest due to your spells. We are looking into it now.�
�I see,� says Qullum pondering what he is hearing. Will I suffer any trauma because of these spells, Doctor?�
�That is also unknown. It is a 50/50 chance that you could. I do not want to say for sure yet.�
As the Doctor finished his statement the nurse came and said that he had a transmission coming in from Soo�gah � his colleague from the Hevordag Institute.
�Excuse me, I have to take this.�
�Of course.�
The Doctor stood up, nodded at the couple, and then walked out the door. At that very moment Qullum goes into another spell. He starts screaming, he tries ever so hard to control it, but it is controlling him. He falls off the bed and onto the floor, screaming ever more.
�DOCTOR!� Shearma yells as she reaches for the nurse�s call button, �He�s going into another spell!� The Doctor and a couple nurses rush back into the room and start running the same old tests that they run on him every time he has a spell.
�He will be ok Shearma, we just have to wait it out.�
�I know this, but it still scares me to see my husband laying there helpless not being able to control thi�� Shearma shed a tear, as she was unable to speak anymore. She went to the waiting room to rest her eyes a little bit and wait for her husband to recover.
15 minutes later.
Shearma was just dozing off to sleep as she has not had hardly any sleep in the past 24 hours, when the nurse came in and said, �Shearma, Shearma��
Shearma being the heavy sleeper she is took a couple minutes to respond to the nurse�s calls.
�Huh, wha? Oh, I�m sorry�� Shearma said as she rubbed her tired eyes. �It�s just I haven�t had any sleep in the past 24 hours.�
�It�s ok, no need to explain, I�m a nurse, I�m used to no sleep, so I would probably be doing the same thing if I were in your shoes.�
At that Shearma smiled at the nurse, then the nurse informed her that her husband�s spell had stopped and that it is ok for her to go in and see him now.
�Ok, thanks for letting me know. I�ll be in there in a couple minutes.�
The nurse just smiled and walked away.
Shearma made her way back to Unit 3 where her husband was staying.
�Qullum, you had another spell. You feeling ok?�
�Yeah, of course, I�m fine as always. But� I actually remembered this spell. I know what happened to me during that time��


The saga continues...

[ November 20, 2002, 04:00: Message edited by: Ragnarok ]
__________________
Ragnarok - Hevordian Story Thread
-------------------
I think...therefore I am confused.
They were armed. With guns, said Omari.
Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is this world coming to?
The dreaded derelict dwelling two ton devil bunny!
Every ship can be a minesweeper... Once
Reply With Quote
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