Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours

[Taz-in-Space]

...the air is still and calm over the bLasted area once known as 'The Cantina'. As the sun bakes down on this cratered scene, a wisp of movement appears on the distant horizon.
In moments this movement becomes greater as a whirling cloud of some kind moves quickly toward the viewer. A sound, like an out of control chainsaw, grows louder as the whirlwind sweeps ever closer.
As the wind grows to hurricane proportions and the sound threatens to deafen all, an ominous figure resolves itself...
The Taz has returned!
...Taz reads the help wanted notice...

Hmmm, not sure what a 'protable' bar is, but I'll take the job Mac!
That's 10,000 per day right?

[dogscoff]

After being killed, resurrected, killed again, killed yet again as a ghost, re-incarnated as a foetus and now finally born again (literally), baby-dogscoff thinks he's entitled to a bit of a rest.

Yep, things aren't too bad. OK, I can't support my own head yet but I get baths, plenty of female attention and all the milk I can drink.

Once I've matured a little though, I think I'll be opening a video store down at the new mall, stocking the world's most comprehensive selection of rubber-godzilla flicks and whacked-out chinese martial arts films with a selection of "speciality" titles in the basement. I might also be able to make things a little more interesting with a new interactive soligraphic dvd player I've been thinking about...

[ March 24, 2003, 10:25: Message edited by: dogscoff ]

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by QuarianRex:
Hey, some lettuce-headded guy told me that I could buy some clones here.

Wha...? Why that lying bastard. Where did I put my Null-Space salad shooter? I'll show him...

*Raging Deadstar rubs his hands in glee!*

Yes i'm the person to talk about that, what kind of clone are you after? just name it and it's yours, now we have to talk about the money

Theres the Payment of the clone
Then theres the allowance of me allowed to buy anything on your tab once the new cantinas open
Then theres the insurance payment so you can't sue me if the clone hurts you in anyway
Then theres the monthly fee
Then theres the EBCP (End Big Crippling Payout)

That should bring the price to....

50000 minerals each + shipping costs, quite a bargain if you ask me, considering they are fully trained for anything, and as mac found out ANYTHING. Hell you can use them as bodyguards if you like! Or if you're lonely they tend to fill that aspect of your life too

What do you say Quarian Rex???

[David E. Gervais]

..I thought that 'Toon-rules' were applied in this this thread. If that's the case,...

I look over the blackened waste that was once the Cantina,.. with my left hand I grab the scene firmly and lower it to my desktop. With blinding speed and a whirlwind of hand movement I quickly draw up a brand new scene,...

Where there once was waste, there is now a lush green forest a colorful garden and a long expanse of sandy beach. In the middle of this splender is a shiny new building with an exterior terrace facing the beach. There is a long oak bar that serves both the exterior and interior of the building. Beside one of the windows in the building is a large man-made waterfall that cascades down into a pool filled with exotic fish. Above the building is a huge neon sign flashing 'The Cantina'. Next to the door is a small sign that simply says "OPEN: Drinks are free for paying customers!"

I waste no time and claim a table next to the window with the waterfall...

[primitive]

- Primitive returns to the crater left by the destruction of the Cantina.
On the Far side of the crater a large tent has been erected. Loud music and party sounds can be heard from inside. At the near side, someone has built a miniature cantina. It is very nice with waterfalls and all, but no larger than a computer desktop.

Having drunk way to many beers in that boring Plato’s Pub, Primitive decides to add a little to the flow of the waterfall. Tiny screams can be heard when the stream overflows and floods through an open window in the miniature.

Puzzled, Primitive goes over to the large tent. Maybe it's Primitive's kind of place

[Ragnarok]

Well, I would love to be enjoying The Tent Cantina (TTC) but I'm still chained up in my eternal damnation because some people seem to have forgotten about me. But soon enough I will sieze control of everything down here and have my revenge... Yes, soon enough....

[Power Man]

Star date 3/24/03
Captain Power Man's personal Log.
I have finally been able to make time to visit the famed Phong's Head Cantina. My ship "Dread1" is in orbit doing a planet scan and ship engine maintenance cycle. I have gone on this mission to seek out a new place to hold the Ship Officers Poker Night Out party.
I have had Spork beam me to the location of the Cantina. I see nothing but a vast crater next to a small parking lot. Taking out my Scannopter I check for any harmful energy. The background levels are high but not too bad. It looks like a lot of "Heck" has been raised here lately.
I see a large tent has been put up on the other side of the crater. Maybe I will find some one there to tell me were a guy can get a good drink around here?
On the way there I see a small model building. It looks rather nice with a beach and all. Maybe it is a model of a propose replacement cantina? I don't know about the yellow water in the falls though.
I walk into the large tent and look around. I see several tables and what looks like a small portable potable bar set up by what looks like a lettice salad bar.
I walk unto the bar and in my best "Captain's Voice" ask "How does one get a drink in this place?"

[Raging Deadstar]

*Raging Deadstar walks into the tent of the cantina and smiles slyly as he goes over to each member of the tent and writes down the suggested order of each member. Walking over to a dejected taz who is polishing the pLastic wood design bar, dreaming of the brand new oak bar he will be working behind someday! RD passes the piece of paper to taz and taz's jaw drops to the floor, he speedily begins to collect the expensive wine bottles for mac and begins pouring a couple of dozen of the finest brewskis in the cantina. The rounds of drink are passed around and Mac opens a chilled vintage wine. Taz opens up his paw and demands the money to pay for such an awesome ammount of alchohol. Raging Deadstar coyly steps aside and says...*

"Put it on Ragnaroks tab!"

*Raging Deadstar then hides in the back corner of the tent where it is darkest and pulls out a quijabaord and begins to contact Growltigger from beyond the grave! He pulls out a couple of candles and lights them as they ominously flicker. He then holds up ragnaroks tab and all the lights go out, then re-alight. As the lights go out the ground shudders like a great beast has awoken. The middle of the tent where the makeshift pool table is englufed in a red light and a firey pentagram is drawn across the floor magically. The pentagram then cracks open until a giant hole engulfs the floor which flames lick out of. Suddenly Growltiggers voice can be heard...*

"DON'T COME BACK TO YOU PAY ALL OF IT OFF!!"

*Ragnarok comes sailing out of the portal and lands in a clump with some tables and chairs in the side of the tent. A few red hot pokers fly out and hit primitive up the back entry and he is forced to run to the waterfall in david gervais minature, and cool off his rear end even though he did relieve himself in it! Growltigger then turns round and heads back into the portal and the ground closes up again...*

Welcome back ragnarok, sorry if you have to pay off those drinks but hey at least your alive! Anyway i just cancelled my tab with taz so I'm safe from tab shiffting

[ March 24, 2003, 21:01: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Ragnarok]

*Rags comes flying out of the giant hole that is now in the middle of what used to be the parking lot of the Cantina. Rags flies who knows how high into the sky and falls back to the ground with a great thump on the concrete slab. Rags manages to get to his feet, al be it, with a great headache such as no man has ever had. Rags stumbles over to the edge of the giant hole that was created when he was tossed out of the firey depths, and yells down to the demons that threw him out: "Yeah well you can just go to h***!" Moment of silence. "Oh, wait, too late for that, eh? Sorry, no offense!"*

*Rags then walks over to the man they call RD and offers his hand for a handshake to show his gratitude for saving him from the depths of hell. RD reaches out to shake Rags hand and when he does his hand burns like nothing has ever burnt before. RD yells in pain and he runs around with his hand smoking still from shaking Rags hand. He continues to blow on it and wave his hand around trying to cool it off before he finally dips it in a pitcher of beer. He yells even louder as that causes the pain to increse. He finds a pitcher of water and dips his hand in that. Finally relief from the pain. Rags thinks to himself: "Shoot, I guess I haven't cooled off myself from being down there for the past week. Oh well, that's what he gets for putting all those drinks on my tab." Rags then evilly smiles to himself as he plots out his next move.*

*Rags begins to think about it a bit more and he realizes something. So he walks over to Taz and asks him for his tab to look over the expenses. At the top of the tab is the name Ragnarok, but Rags looks closer and with closer inspection he notices that there is white out under his name. So Rags rubs off the white out only to reveal the name Power Man. He ponders this and decides to take it to Taz to find out what to do. Taz upon looking at it a bit more decides that since Power Mans name was on the tab under Rags' name, that Power Man has to pay for all the drinks incured when RD when on his spending spree. So that leaves Rags with a nice clean tab and Power Man with a heck of a tab to pay before his ship is ready to leave.*

*Rags walks to the corner booth and sits down with his drink. He begins to plot out his next move.*

[Power Man]

Well that was quick.
Thanks for the wine Ragnarok.
What a floor show! I wish I had got a reading on that primative's "back end" energy.

Now barkeep I would like a glass of your best ale. And how much for a trip to the lettuce bar? I better get some soon, it looks like there is just the one head of lettuce left.