Advise - Page 23

Kamog · #**221** May 15th, 2003, 05:29 AM

Sounds like what happens everytime I have Thai food! Thai dishes are really spicy!!

I have never been able to finish a Thai dinner because it's just too painful to continue after a while.

Taz-in-Space · #**222** May 15th, 2003, 08:16 AM

I know what you mean Kamog. I had an Indian curry like that...burned me on both ends, if you know what I mean!

Gryphin · #**223** May 15th, 2003, 03:10 PM

Brings a new meaning to "Ring of Fire"

Wardad · #**224** May 15th, 2003, 04:02 PM

I can remember feeling like I was farting razor blades!
I wanted ice cream, any flavor, but not to eat!

Wardad · #**225** May 20th, 2003, 06:05 PM

For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas:

Things I've learned from my children (honest & no kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4
inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman
cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint
on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using
a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before
you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a
ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too
late.

8. ... no way am I gonna post #8 ....

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year
old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they
do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. PLastic toys do not like
ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade....true story: The
day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs
to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was
trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...And
so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said,
'Pardon
me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher
paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One
little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said...'Holy sh*t! A
talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

Ruatha · #**226** May 20th, 2003, 06:27 PM

Mixed funny and not.
Laughed alot and sometimes not. (Have a 6 year and a 2 year old)

Gryphin · #**227** May 20th, 2003, 06:35 PM

My mother wants a word with you.

Loser · #**228** May 21st, 2003, 02:36 PM

Laughed, eyes teared-up, fell out of chair.

Congratulations, you have just played accessory to convincing my coworkers that I am mad. This is not altogether a bad thing. I have found that when your boss thinks you are crazy he or she will only bother you after carefully considering the alternatives.

Internal dialog, Boss:
Looks like Jon Doe didn't get that memo about the cover sheets on the TPS reports. I guess I'll have to go have a talk with him. Wait a minute, Jon is the guy who talks to himself and laughs alone.... well, I'm sure he'll find out about the cover sheets sometime and it's not really important enough to interrupt his work...

*Boss goes and harasses someone else about the coversheets on their TPS reports*

mottlee · #**229** May 22nd, 2003, 01:22 AM

Man I had to wipe me eyes on that one! ROFLMAO!

minipol · #**230** May 22nd, 2003, 08:48 PM

Wardad, excellent post. However, i'm relatively new to parenthood (small boy, 5 months old) and these stories start to slightly worry me