Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours

[Timstone]

A song arises from the background of the cantina.

"I will survive, I will surive..."

[Growltigga]

"and as long as they pay me enough I know I'll stay alive, I have an awful lot to give, as long as they pay me lots of quids, I will survive, I will survive, hey hey"

Growltigga goes dancing off into the distance, clutching an FBW on either arm with moneybags in his eyes

[Timstone]

Yeah, groovy tiger! You're sure to make a hit this way! Great lyrics!

[Growltigga]

As Growltigga then launches into his favourite Monty Python medley of hits and then, after the beer has been flowing rather a long time, GT launches into the age-old British drinking songs...

All together now.....

"Beer, beer,
We want more beer
All the lads are cheering
Get the bloody beer in"

OR

"See the little goblin,
See his little feet,
And his little nosey wose
Isn't the goblin sweet
HEY"

OR

"I'm climbing up sunshine mountain
Where all the little birds go
TWEET TWEET TWEET"

[Timstone]

Now, I'm beginning to suspect you drink during work.

[dogscoff]

Ha! I'd forgotten about the goblin song. Blackadder wasn't it?

Here's one, a pint for the person who can tell me where it's from...

Oh Pointy birds,
so pointy pointy,
upon my head,
anointy-nointy.

[Growltigga]

Of course lawyers drink during work Timstone, how else do you think we can deal with the unreasonable and daft demands of our clients. I personally couldn't sit down and draft a loan agreement without a couple of stiff shots of absolut vodka inside me....

Dogscoff, you have stumped me there. I dont know that song and frankly, it sounds a bit complex to try with a skinful of ale inside you..... I prefer the football chants as these are always capable of being sung when drunk... you know things like

"One Nil, to the Enggguuulllaaaaannnndd
One Nil, to the Enguuulllaaaannnddddddd
Blurgghhhhhhh"

OR

"They are orange, they are bland
They come from Netherlands
Bunch of poofffsss
Bunch of poooofffffsss"

OR

"Deutschland Deutschland
Cant play footballlllll
England thrashd them
FIve goals to One"

OR

"They are crap, they are ****e
But they think they are dynamite
U SS AAAAAAAA
USS AAAAAAAA"

[Quikngruvn]

Dogscoff: I think Steve Martin serenaded that to some female whom I cannot remember in "L.A. Story".

Growltigga: Good luck, and go get 'em!

And remember: the tune of "The Star-Splangled Banner" came from a drinking song....

Quikngruvn

[Growltigga]

"Ding dong the witch is dead
The wicked witch, the silly old witch
Ding dong the wicked witch is dead"

Growltigga is seen striding across the cantina dancefloor, absolutely seven sheets to the wind, his eyes looking like a Japanese flag and his breath smelling like the outflow of a distillery, and clutching a bottle of his favourite "Bluey Wallaboo's Sydney Old Regurgitator"...

"Damn" says the Tigga, "I am so drunk I need to hold onto the floor, and as for that new FBW, she is as amorous as a kangaroo shagging a space hopper"....

"Skippy, Skippy, Skippy
The Bush Kangaroo
Skippy Skippy
Dah dee dee dah dee dah"

In that sad way of drunkards everywhere, Growltigga decided to "square the hypoteneuse" and leans his head against one of the cantina walls, and proceeds to pee on the floor

"I'm in the bodyguard of Julius Caesar
He's got a todger like a lemon squeezer
Gladiator bold and furious
All dressed up in a garb so curious
The favouorite game of a roman rogue is
Three pink gins and then off with his toga
My name's Marcus, randy old Marcus
I'm in the bodyguard of Rome
Oy"

Growltigga takes another swig from his bottle, spins round twice and ends up propped on Dogscoff saying "I really love you, you're my best mate you are, you are my best friend"

"Blurrrrrgggggghhhhhhh"

[dogscoff]

*Dogscoff steps over 'Tigga's vomit-pool and buys Quikngruvn a pint as promised. He briefly considers pulling some evil prank on the kat (I wtill suspect 'Tig of being involved in what happened to me when I passsed out in the Birthday Party thread) but decides against it - hell, it's Friday, getting drunk is what Fridays do best!

Dogscoff pops the cork on a bottle of best phong poteen and tells Taz to line up some shooter glasses along the bar. A line forms along the bar, one person per glass, and Dogscoff runs the inverted bottle along the bar, filling each glass to the top.

OK everybody, down in one. After 3...