The Won-Ton Violence Take-Out Hut

[NullAshton]

The cloning machine is suddenly vaporized by a wave-motion gun from space. There, no more legs.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

I thought no more "my COMCA is bigger than your COMCS" but cartoon violence instead... I know, it's been said by a B&G person, but it's much more fun this way.

Angel pops in, mourns her team of fluffy rabid killer rabbits, and sets up a new cloning chamber with a new team of fluffy rabid killer rabbits.

[Jack Simth]

Jack "Barkeep, how do you expect just-cloned critters to pay off their tab at the end of the night?"
The bartender consideres this for a moment.
Barkeep "You know, I don't rightly know. Well, I suppose we'll see - I'll just demand everyone in the bar settle their tabs; can't be racist, after all."

Bartender "Everybody - it's time to settle your tab!"

Jack pulls out a single copper coin, and the bartender looks at him disgustedly.

Bartender "You haven't actually ordered anything we charge for, you know. Why do you sit in a bar and drink water, of all things?"

Jack "Well, I haven't been able to feel the effects of alchol since the first time I escaped the reaper. I can drink as much as I like, but I don't feel any of the effects - good or bad. So I just take water. Here, at least, you name them nicely."

The bartender goes around collecting payment. In the case of the cloned legs (as they don't have cash), he charges each an arm and a leg - as they don't have an arm, he substitutes another leg, charging each pair a leg and a leg. This leaves them rather put out, as all they are is a leg and a leg. He then places a few phone calls, and sells the separated cloned legs to a medical facility, which pays for them extravagantly, and grafts them to those unfortunates who were missing legs.

For some reason, this makes the legs that hadn't ordered yet very, very hesitant to order drinks, and they keep whispering of the event for as long as they stay, so the incoming legs hear, and leg it out of there as fast as possible.

The bartender uses the funds to order more materials, of course, and restocks. He then starts asking the more intact patrons to cover their tabs.

[NullAshton]

Aaaaaaah, the hut has died!

[Jack Simth]

NullAshton said:
I wonder what a null-space cannon firing into that gateway would do...

Anyway, the g-spike engines of my battlemoon use their drive to fix this universe. Wooooooohooo!

(A one-liner to fix a 3-4 paragraph post which ties itself into a previous post? Please.)

Glancing at the portal, Jack notices it still goes somewhere.
"Wha? Someone manage to stop the trap? Ah well, I guess I'll just call in that favor anyway, like I had originally planned."
Jack waves his hands briefly, and then stands there talking, apparently to the air.
"Yeah, is Yaranthozniaha available?"
...
"Great; could you put him on?"
...
"Yaranthozniaha, it's time to pay up one of those chips I won from you at our last game."
...
"Hey, you know I never gamble for cash; after all, what good is money to such as us?"
...
"I need you to turn up the entropy rating on a particular plane: " Jack lets out with a long string of liquid and oddly musical sounds "I don't have the all-surpassing patience to wait on natural decay in this instance."
...
"Very. I want the big freeze and associated proton decay to happen in about an hour."
...
"Five minutes till I can start to see results? Good. See you at next millenia's game."
With that, Jack briefly waves his hands again, turns around, and stares out the entryway portal. After a moment, he produces a small golem and sends it through; he then changes the channel on the TV, and it shows what the golem sees.

The golem looks up at the sun, and watches as it goes out, no longer being able to maintain any amout of energy. It watches as a nearby battlemoon crashes into the ground, able to neither maintain any potential energy in it's orbit nor enough thrust to fight gravity. Strangely, it doesn't explode on impact - it no longer has the energy necessary to do so; it all turned into useless waste energy. It's power systems simply couldn't keep up.

After a moment, the golem watches as the crumpled hull plating just seems to evaporate, as its heavier elements lose their binding energies and decay to elementary particles.

At this point, Jack casts a spell to make an announcement in the doomed plane:


"Better Hurry - that ship, she's a sinkin. All carbon-based life-forms will want to evacuate before carbon bonds can no longer maintain their structure."

[NullAshton]

NullAshton takes the time to quickly program a device powered by a zero point energy generator.. The device increases the gravitational energy of the entire universe, causing everything to collapse in on itself, into a large black hole before any further degration can occur. The device, now occupying another dimenson, immune to the increased entropy, rewrites the laws of the universe to remove entropy from increasing again, and sets everything else back to normal. The universe rebangs, and quickly rearranges itself to what it was before entropy was increased. Everyone is alive again, all the battlemoons are in orbit, and the sun is still shining. The device stays floating in those other dimensions, in case it is needed again. Everyone remembers what happened after enthropy was increased, however none of the effects are visible.

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

Strategia sets himself down next to Jack.

"So Jack... you can't feel the effects of alcohol? Well then, you should try one of my own home-brewn Dimensional Rupture specials... I've been negotiating with Hank about giving him the recipe, but I think that a fleet of COMCA tankers full of nothing but alcohol is not NEARLY enough payment. Wanna try one? You'll be sure to feel the effects... you do know the Drushocka are totally immune to the effects of any narcotic compound? Well, I gave a Drushocka a sip once, and its eyes were launched from their sockets and it gave a scream loud enough to shake the moon it was standing on apart. When I got it on board, all it said was "Another... Another...". Well? Wanna try one?"

[NullAshton]

Drushocka are immune to narcotics?

[Strategia_In_Ultima]

They're silicon-based life forms... and btw it's just a plot device

[NullAshton]

Ah. What type of plot device? There's good plot devices and crappy plot devices. Star trek shows usually use the crappy kinda.