Advise

mlmbd · #1 November 14th, 2002, 01:28 AM

********************WARNING********************

BOLD, ALL CAPS and UNDERLINING will be used here!

ATTENTION, ATTENTION, ATTENTION

Advice to those unlucky at love, the loveless, the love unhappy, the love lorn, and/or dating advise thread is now open to all:

Don't have ANY problems. Then share your advise with those less fortunate than yourself!!

mlmbd

Dead Meat · #2 November 14th, 2002, 03:52 AM

I will help you and tell you all I have learned.

First you must read this theory to understand what it is to love someone.

Second, you much take this test

And Last as someone who's family came from Ireland, remeber this saysing: Sheep make for good loving.

Kamog · #3 November 14th, 2002, 04:41 AM

Cool! The mlmbd

advice thread!!

Dead Meat: I found that the ladder theory is rather cynical, but probably accurate! I took the test and alas, the results weren't that encouraging, to say the least.

Anyway...

Dear mlmbd

,

What's the best way to make a good first impression with a girl?
Where is a good place to go on a first date?

Skulky · #4 November 14th, 2002, 07:38 AM

The ladder theory is my new god, and, after an introspective look into my social life, past present and future. well maybe not future. It is totally true to the letter.

And the test, well it had my hopes up to say the least.

Kamog · #5 November 14th, 2002, 07:56 AM

Dear mlmbd

,

How do you answer this question? A girl asks you, "Do you notice anything different about me today?" You look at her, and you don't notice anything at all that's different from usual. She probably did something with her hair or got new shoelaces or something, but if you guess wrong, you're in big trouble! If you say you don't know, you're in big trouble! What do you do?

mlmbd · #6 November 14th, 2002, 08:39 AM

Dead Meat, so this is ALL you have learned?

Kamog, I thought it was kinda cool myself. As to your question. First impressions are very important. You can be an ADONIS, but if you are not all together you are most likely sunk. First, don't try to be something or someone you're not. If you feel more comfortable in jeans, wear them not some designer slacks. If you really want to try and have some kind of long term relationship with this person, take them a token of your feelings (i.e., A FLOWER (a bunch of roses or other type of flower may give the impression you are thing to BUY them), a bottle of wine(if you know they drink)). But not to personal. You want to impress, not frighten them.

As places to take a first date. Hopefully you have learned something of this person. Do they like movies? If so, what kind? Other forms of entertainment. What their likes and dislike in food. All that said. Now the choice. I find that a movie followed by a coffee (so you can talk, about the movie or anything else) works very well. At least it works for me. You will find your own best way. I do hope that is some help.

If she had to ask what's different. You are ALREADY in trouble. Whether you get luck and guess right or not. Simply, you didn't notice. This may seem rough, if you REALLY CARED for this person. You would have noticed. And she wouldn't have had to ask!! So, find someone that you care enough about, to notice.

mlmbd

Dead Meat · #7 November 14th, 2002, 08:49 AM

My work is cut out for me.

Kamog: The best way to make a first impression is to put you foot on top of one of theirs. This is for a number of reasons. First, and most important. They can not get away. Second, placeing one's foot on top of anothers show that you have control over the situation. And third, they can't get away.

As for your question about noticing something diffrent. Always mention their eyes, for it is the gate way into the Heavens. If you happen not to mention their eyes and are wrong, then simply follow the example under the next question.

If you are asked; "Does this make me look fat?" Do not answer!! Their is no right answer. "No dear." has worked in the past. However studies have shown that 9 out of 10 boyfriends hesitate before answering the question. Instead it is far better to pretend to choke on ones tounge then to risk answer this question.

I hope i've helped.

Skulky: Indeed the ways of the ladder are wise.

dumbluck · #8 November 14th, 2002, 12:57 PM

Correction: The ladder is all-knowing, all-seeing.

Gryphin · #9 November 14th, 2002, 01:51 PM

I'm sorry to post realty here:
The women I have known seem to want honesty and sincer caring.
`

DirectorTsaarx · #10 November 14th, 2002, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kamog:
Dear mlmbd ,

How do you answer this question? A girl asks you, "Do you notice anything different about me today?" You look at her, and you don't notice anything at all that's different from usual. She probably did something with her hair or got new shoelaces or something, but if you guess wrong, you're in big trouble! If you say you don't know, you're in big trouble! What do you do?

First, I (partially) agree with mlmbd's answer - if she had to ask, you're probably already in trouble. HOWEVER, the fact that she DID ask means she's giving you a second chance. This probably means you're on the GOOD ladder (thanks for posting the ladder theory link, dead meat). And, not only are you on the good ladder, you are probably at least as high on her ladder as she is on yours; possibly higher (or, in ladder theory language, you are at least equal and possibly in a position of power). All of which means you should definitely say something complimentary; perhaps along the lines of "your beauty is so distracting I can't tell what's different". You'll either get slapped for the cheesy line, or you'll get lucky. The chance of getting lucky is (usually)worth the risk of getting slapped.

BTW - I take no responsibility for any pain, injury or suffering resulting from following the above advice. Use at your own risk.

Did I use enough boldface, italics and bold italics to acheive the right level of credibility for this thread?