Hilariously unlikely combat

[Ghill]

This is proof that the DRN rolls are truly random. And awesome.

Finfag the Assassin attempt to assassinate Fury the (aptly named) Great Hawk.

First round of combat Fury flys forward and hits Finfag twice, dealing 5 and 3 damage, giving Finfag a limp and tearing off his arm ('limp' and 'lost an arm' wounds). Finfag flees, barely escaping.

Anyone have something like that happen?

[Sombre]

That's nothing man. I've seen regular infantry hack limbs off prot 27 thugs.

[NTJedi]

The most hiliarious battle scenario I remember came from a battle of my older brother... wish I would have saved the turn file. Anyways on this battle both sides are almost even with infantry and archers, brother has a stronger army. The enemy has one single knight unit which seems to be set for attack rear, but instead is ignoring all units and riding the side heading for the back mages/priests. It's as if the knight was given special instructions on knowing where to attack as he sneaks along the side of the battlefield unchallenged. Then as feared he charges towards a level2 priest in the back... somehow the priest blocks all his attacks(lance, morningstar, and hoofs)! Next round my brothers archers turn to the rear and shoot... knight survives and priest is shot dead.
At that moment you could almost feel the confusion and bewilderment from the knight.

[Psycho]

There was a thread a while back where someone complained about a SC being killed by two lucky attacks from a single flagelant.

[AdmiralZhao]

In my first MP game, I used Call of the Winds to just barely take a lightly defended province from Tien Chi. All of the blackhawks retreated near the end of the battle, leaving just the leader-Hawk. In the same turn, Tien Chi's pretender (a Jade Emporer, i.e. a giant, fat Chinese sage in formal robes), moved into the province. He was wasn't expecting trouble, so the pretender was at the front of his 200 man army and all of its national summons. On the first turn, the BlackHawk darts forward and hits the sage for like 3 damage, giving him the "Lost an eye" affliction. For some reason I find it hilarious, thinking about this august sage, wandering about the countryside in contemplation, suddenly being set upon by this giant wild bird.

[Fate]

I was playing a recent game with an amusing battle. I was playing as Pything with an awake Imperial Emperor as my god, which I often choose over the Great Sage simply because it feels thematic. I didn't bother giving him any more magic past S1, and in retrospect I could have just made him imprisoned or gone with a fountain, but it was too late to decide that. So I was using him as a second commander.
In one battle he exhausted himself casting useless S1 evocations. The army routed the defending indies. Two turns before the indies routed off the map my pretender roused himself to cast Blink and came out right in front of the retreating enemies.
I found this amusing because of his stature as an Emperor and the fact the he had spent most of the battle asleep. I imagine the aging general waking at the end and saying, "I want a closer look at that..." and BOOM!

[Trumanator]

What exactly was the point of him? Uber scales?

[Tifone]

Originally Posted by AdmiralZhao

On the first turn, the BlackHawk darts forward and hits the sage for like 3 damage, giving him the "Lost an eye" affliction. For some reason I find it hilarious, thinking about this august sage, wandering about the countryside in contemplation, suddenly being set upon by this giant wild bird.

Mr Hitchcock would have been proud of you!!

[Omnirizon]

I was once playing as Argatha in a battle with Pythium. I had a respectable army of Blindfighters and Crossbowmen, backed with Ktonian Necros. However Pythium had about 20 Hydras backed with several Serpent Priests, Fairy Queens, The King of Elemental Fire, along with handfuls of summoned baddies. I was clearly outmatched. Pythium was the attacker.

I cast two battlefield enchantments, the names escape me now... Life After Death, and Unbearable Heat... or something like that. The spell that resurrects all your units as Soulless, and the Spell that causes heat fatigue in every unit every turn. Pythium cast Foul Vapors.

Between Foul vapors, the Hydras, the battlemagic, and the Heat, my units where dropping like flies, while barely scratching Pythium's armies. As they died they were resurrected as Soulless; eventually even all my battlemages had been killed by the Foul Vapors and resurrected. During this time all of Pythium's armies were mowing through my units and the resulting soulless, but racking up tons of fatigue in the process. Eventually his entire army was at over 100 fatigue and unable to act. His Hydras inched forward, killing a unit, passing out and then waking back up. The continued killing almost all my units, but they had gotten very slow. In the end I had only a THREE soulless and barely conscious Ktonian Necros alive. Of all my armies, only these left. Pyth had a few Hydras only a few steps away from them, but they were unable to move due to fatigue. The battle ended with the exhausted Hydras only steps away from my only remaining units, but unable to move to attack them. The turn 50 autorout kicked in and the entire army of Hydras and high end summons ended up fleeing from THREE little soulless.

Even better, that same turn I had captured the only province they could flee to. Thus his entire army was autokilled, by three soulless apparently.

This is definitely my favorite battle ever. I think I may still have it around somewhere, unless I've deleted it from my mailbox.

[Executor]

I just had my protection 30, defence 25, 15% regeneration, reinvigorating Niefel Jarl killed by frozen shambler thralls with attack 6.