Leaked patch notes for 3.16!

[judicator]

A friend of mine sent me an IM the other night, claiming he'd come across the patch notes of the still forthcoming 3.16 update. Not believing him, I demanded he'd show me these allegedly leaked patch notes, and to my surprise they were in fact very real. After perusing said patch notes, I came across something truly horrific. I could not believe my eyes. After staring at it in utter disbelief for several minutes, I decided I'd share an excerpt of this grievous information with you, the community of our highly venerated game.

We are pleased to announce that we are making a complete overhaul of our strategy engine. Previously the combat was decided by inputs players would manipulate prior to the battle, and then having had the ability to view the ensuing fray afterwards, if he so chose to. We feel this engine does not meet up to the high standards of the genre in which we are planning on integrating Dominions 3 The Awakening into. Therefore, we are replacing this archaic engine with a new much improved one, where you as the player has direct control over every single battle in real time. Never before have you had such an emergent control over your armies and magics, worrying whether you'd lose half your army you've so painstakingly built up since the inception of the map, or whether you would cast the correct spell accordingly to facilitate the current situation being a thing of the past. Join us as we claim dominion over the world time and time again, with the most profound and tactile experience conceivable. We hope you enjoy battling just as much as we have enjoyed working on this project. Thank you for your support. We could not have done this without you.

Truly, this must not come to pass. I had to make the community aware of this so that we could take action against this prior to its planned release!

[ano]

That's horrific and actually I don't really believe it. Too much for a patch.

[Twan]

Fun hoax.

Note, I'd like this as an option for single player (and more for spell testing).

ps : are we already the april 1st ?

[lch]

Tried that before, didn't work.

[Edi]

Whatever moron wrote that drivel should report immediately to the nearest hospital for an emergency cranio-rectal extraction.

Anybody's guess who they thought they could fool with that, but as an attempt, it's laughable at best. Writing style is all wrong, for starters.

[Dedas]

Utterly ludicrous!

[Kristoffer O]

But Edi, it is true, you know.

It is the project we have been working on the past year. That's why we had to release the 3.15 without the final input from the beta group. 3.16 was intended for this major reworking since we released 3.06. We figured .10 versions later would be a good time to release it and revolutionize the SP as well as the MP experience.

We also intend to include real time diplomacy. An entirely new gaming concept of bickering and politics.

This will be played out in celestial debates between gods of the Pantheon over the rights to decide the battles on the world below. Yield or take the right to manifest yourself in the battle and be there to decide the outcome. Loose the right to manifest and your armies will become bewildered and lost.

Battles no longer decided in the field. They are decided in the halls of the Pantheon. This has made battles more efficient and streamlined, since your enemy have no control or power over the outcome. This has made all units and summons viable, and modding is now easier than ever. With only a sprite and a description needed you can add whole new nations with just a couple of hours work.

Real time diplomacy will bring a revolution to the gaming industy. And dominions was there first. Happy to have you on board!

[Agrajag]

So, did anyone notice that the ShrapnelGames links on the side show an announcement of the "3.10 Megapatch", in spite of already having 3.15 sitting snugly on our computers?

EDIT: They even show the 3.14 update. At least that shows that it's intentional :S
*checks links* Ahh, that seems to be a result of their automated system. Oh well.

[Morkilus]

Is it April Fool's day already?

[Daynarr]

Hmm, to lock or to not lock, the question is now ...