Jokes and Riddles Centre - Page 7

Taera · #61 July 23rd, 2003, 10:25 AM

LOL a good joke there DS

[ July 23, 2003, 19:10: Message edited by: Taera ]

mac5732 · #62 July 24th, 2003, 04:07 AM

you look in the mirror, see what you saw,
you take the saw, cut the table in half,
2 halfs make a hole,
so you crawl out

elementary my dear watson

just some ideas Mac

Ed Kolis · #63 July 24th, 2003, 04:57 AM

Two guys were sitting at a bar discussing comedians.

Joe: You're a fan of that Abbott guy, right?
Jim: Yeah, Abbott and Costello, they were partners.
Joe: Yeah, right, now Abbott was the straight man?
Jim: Yeah, why?
Joe: If those two guys were partners, how come one of them was straight???

Narf'scompatshop · #64 July 24th, 2003, 10:48 AM

just for that, mac...well, actually, i was going to post this anyway. it's from my dad.

why did the fish cross the road?

oh, yeah, i probably should have added this earlier, there's also two tales. so it's:

six eyes, eight legs, two wings and two tails.

Narf'scompatshop · #65 July 25th, 2003, 12:25 AM

you forgot to mention they went to sleep in a tent.

Nocturnal · #66 July 25th, 2003, 01:11 AM

Tougher riddle similar to the bracelet riddle.

ACME Technologies has just shipped your school a new weights and measures system. Comprised of a super-accurate beam balance and a 40 lb. rock, this system will allow you to accurately weigh items from one to forty pounds, and every integer value in between. Some dis-assembly required, of course.

The forty pound rock will have to be cut up with a high-powered diamond-tipped saw (not included), because as it is, it will only let you accurately weigh other forty pound rocks.

What is the fewest number of pieces the rock will need to be cut into to measure any item weighing an integer amount from one to forty pounds, inclusive (assuming you can manage to get the rock into the precise fractions you want)?

Nocturnal · #67 July 25th, 2003, 01:28 AM

And a popular joke.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of stars. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot," he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

David E. Gervais · #68 July 25th, 2003, 04:32 AM

Two simple questions, but what are the answers?..

1) If I walk into a room, where am I?

2) If I walk out of a room, Where am I?

Cheers!

mac5732 · #69 July 25th, 2003, 04:42 AM

David G.

you are where you are, your wherever your physical being is, therefore, your in a room and then your outside... oh well, my 2 cents..

just some ideas Mac

Narf'scompatshop · #70 July 25th, 2003, 04:45 AM

well, from your point of view,

1: here

2: here