Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours

[Raging Deadstar]

Heh the cantinas turning into a Ship dealership!!
In this case....

++++++++++++++++++++++++
1 Battle Cruiser, good light-yearage, high shilds, needs armor, few dents as it was my previous veichle, metallic blue tint, Armed with Quantum Torpedoes and Anti Proton Beams. Fluffy dice and nodding churchill dog come as standard as with ejection seats and self destruct drives
++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'm open for offers
(Please note any living creature that attacks you either from the "inner sanctum" or the kitchen are covered under my terms and conditions)

Dogscoff, how does dermots mother feel? 2 of her sons turned into cantina food!!! Actually what happened to her, the chinese fish market just off bejing???

RD'S Terms And Conditions
I. Raging Deadstar cannot be held responsible for...
1.) Random acts of God, GrowlTigga or Dogscoff
2.) Any damage caused by pygmies, septic tank gods or barry...
3.) Dismemberment, Assimilation, Implosion or explosion...
4.) Any mistake between the ejector seat button and the self destruct...
5.) Any Damage caused by any reckless pilots (Puke)
Heh theres a lot more too

Come to think about it, the ammount of cartoon violence and damage here in the cantina what liability has GT got??? Man is he covered against everything? then again he is a lawyer

[ September 05, 2002, 18:40: Message edited by: Raging Deadstar ]

[Timstone]

Off topic, I know, but I have to say this.

Blade II:
"Are you human?"
"Barely, I'm a lawyer."

[Puke]

Originally posted by dogscoff:
Hey Puke, can I take a look around it? I promoise not to break anything, and I'll leave all my sea monsters at home.

sure, but you will get an error when bording if you dont load the pukemod first. and dont worry about dings, it has MAXINT damage reduction and MAXINT/30 regeneration. better safe than sorry, when parking over the cantina.

[TerranC]

Pfft.

Battlemoon, that is nothing.
5 Heavy Monitors can flatten that up.

Oh that reminds me, I'm opening a custom shipyard. If you order now, you get the religious talisman for FREE!

[Puke]

Super Monitors, bah. everything withers before a core-mounted "Sci-Fi Canon"

[Trajan]

Barry ate a FBW????

HOW HORRIBLE!

[dogscoff]

*Dofscoff springs from his chair and runs out of the bar. There he sees Barry, who has recently eaten one of the FBWs.

'Scoff politely asks Barry for his battlecruiser, and Barry brings it around for him, leaving the keys in the ignition and the engine running while Dogscoff Boards and takes control. He powers down the engine and charges the weapons systems.

Barry begins to back off nervously, and Dogscoff swithces on the ship's external PA system. "Cartoon violence against any other occupant of the Cantina is acceptable, but the FBWs are *UNTOUCHABLE*."

He quickly accesses data on T-rex physiology, in particular details of skin thickness and the layout of the digestive tract. He hands this data over to the ship's computer, which then sets the weapons' power levels to a level which will slice Barry open from groin to gullet without damaging the contents of his stomach. The weapon fires and barry's guts spill out onto the floor, depositting a rather soggy FBW, alive and in one piece. (Luckily Barry rarely remembers to chew when he's upset.)

With that Dogscoff dismounts from his craft and escorts the grateful but smelly FBW back inside, where she is sympathetically received by the other patrons.

Barry meanwhile is left to pick up his innards and find someone willing to sew him back up.

[Trajan]

Having viewed the horror of Barry eating a FBW, then Dog's rush to her rescue by slicing open Barry's abdomen and extricating the lovely FBW, Trajan steps forward with a coal shovel and begins to scoop up Barry's intestines.

Shovel-full by shovel-full Trajan manages to get Barry's guts back where they belong. Next, using a pop-rivet gun and some green duct tape, Trajan closes Barrys abdomin back up and re-adjusts his Red parking attendant vest so that nobody notices the recent incision.

Barry thanks Trajan for the help, belches, then runs off to his valet post, whimpering in pain and sadness at having been recently gutted like a fish.

[ September 06, 2002, 16:39: Message edited by: Trajan ]

[Raging Deadstar]

Raginng Deadstar tows his Light Cruiser out of parking lot, walks over to the Jraenar who signs the contract, unfortuantly puts a dent in another persons ship with its tail and mumbles as it climbs on board and flies off, leaving Raging Deadstar to notice barry and his makeshift repairs! Feeling a pang of sympathy for the loyal parking valet Rd drags a bag of bill gates clones, along with a few George bush Versions and deposits them next to barry, whilst getting out some medical equipment. A FBW wanders up and looks rather worried, RD flashes a medical degree and she wanders off, thank god you can buythose degrees....

After many hours of work, Barry stands up, now complete with Cybernetic implants in his eyes to scan potential criminals or salesmen, armour plated skin under his coat and now a metal collar, which when barry goes to attack staff or regulars a clone of barry's choice will emerge from an outhouse to distract him. Raging Deadstar is thanked by a professional singing dinosaur, an accomplishment that will surely be listed as an achievement on his emperor application cv.

Heads into cantina, smiles at taz and gives him the latest free smaples (about 5 kegs) of the new drink RD's been brewing. Walks out with a keg of anything thathe could find, any drink in the cantina must be good, heads outside and sits down next to a whimpering barry and yet again feels sorry him begins to pet his head while giving him alcohol.

"Just cos dogscoff blew you up dosen't mean he hates you, i mean i have that feeling that he's about to bash me with a large hammer half the time! He hates us all equally" And so begins a night of discussion about beer, fbw's, female dinosaurs (though i made sure he didn't go to deep into that ) and dogscoffs favourite cartoon violence scenes. Which eneded with barry singing a great performance, well great considering he had his intestines blow out!

[dumbluck]

dumbluck stares out of the taxi window as it passes by the Cantina. There, sitting in the parking lot amidst several dozen other ships of every imaginable shape, all bearing "For Sale" signs, sits his personal Light Cruiser. Every day he curses himself for abandoning it there in his paniced flight. But now, all seems quiet once again. It is time to attempt to retrieve that which was left behind.

dumbluck orders the cab to stop by the side of the road, pays his toll, and exits the small escort class vessel. With a sputter from its antique, first generation Ion Engines, the taxi rattles off into the night. dumbluck turns to the task at hand: how to retrieve his spacecraft from the confines of the Cantina without losing what is left of his wits in the process. Again, dumbluck chooses to rely on stealth.

As he creeps thru the gate into the outskirts of the lot, not much cover presents itself. On his Last visit, this did not present a problem, for the large dinosaur had been sleeping. Unfortunately for dumbluck, that is not the case tonight. Just as he reaches the first cluster of vehicles (all of which seem to be for sale), dumbluck is pLastered with a blinding spotlight. At the same time, an automated voice begins it's sales pitch.

"Greetings, patron. As you can see, this sleek and stylish Battlecruiser comes equiped with the latest in Quantum Torpedo firepower...."

Of coarse, all this commotion instantly catches the dinosaur's attention, and just one sniff with it highly evolved sense of smell tells it that a stranger is about. Since even in a dinosaur's primative mind 1 + 1 = 2, the dinosaur advances with great rapidity (relative to our diminuative hero) on dumbluck's position.

dumbluck quickly moves off to hide behind another vessel, this one a dreadnought. But as he approaches it, the dreadnought initiates it's own automated sales pitch. As this occurs again and again, it allows the dinosaur to easily track dumbluck's movements. Soon, all semblence of stealth is abandoned as the cat and mouse movements quickly turn in the cat's (or in this case, the dinosaur's) favor.

But all is not lost, for our intrepid hero still has one key advantage: brainpower. And so by carefully choosing his route, dumbluck manages to stay ahead of the dinosaur, although not by much. Finally, dumbluck reaches his LC, much out of breath and pumped full of adrenaline. Just as he begins to punch in the entryway access code, the dinosaur finally catches sight of him. With a roar, it charges.

Fortunately, dumbluck left an emergency automated liftoff command series in the flight computer, and he makes good use of it this day. Before the dinosaur has taken 10 steps (which is a considerable distance, nonetheless), the LC is airborn and out of reach. As dumbluck slips into the command seat and brings the controls to manual flight, a Fluffy Bunny opens the door to the cantina in order to see what all the commotion is about. Seeing this, the dinosaur eases it's fuming frustrations with a light snack.

[ September 06, 2002, 12:59: Message edited by: dumbluck ]