Phong's Head Cantina [TM] - Starfury Sector (A Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy)

[Suicide Junkie]

The government and media are playing it down, but there is only one small colony of EEE in this area of the galaxy, and its population is composed of the survivors of the Space Monster infestation in their home territory. The warppoints to EEE space were closed off some time ago, and at great cost, but lately there have been some missing ships and an occasional sighting of baby spacemonsters in a nebulae near neutral space.

(Dun dun dunnn)

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Atrocities:
I will have you know that I have the digestive ability of a termite! Nothing bothers me. Well except that one time, but that is neither here nor there.

I need no body gaurd, unless she is very attractive.

Sorry i been away, good to see everyones behaving themselves *swings his trusty electro batton and modified red hot poker cannon he stole from rags*

Ummm Boss, you're kind of making it sound like i'm not doing my job here *points at thread name* Oh wait, i havn't

Also be warned i reserve the right to have all of you (except you boss!) stripsearched by my lovely assistants *scene cuts to the uniformed lovelies in the corner all with wicked smiles on their faces, and all looking like attractive celebrities!* Of course if you happen to get on my bad side then i have another selection of "lovelies" to do that job *scene cuts to show vanessa feltz clones straining at their chains*

*Everyone Gulps, including RD*

Now Atrocities i've been experimenting and you want attractive bodyguards. Heres my offer.

"Pick any celebrity, person or creature and i can have them cloned, combat trained and ready within a day! Added features like plasmatic fire breath or increased stamina will cost extra

I have a feeling we may have a deal

*Oh god, how corrupt do i sound having a little side business, but this is A Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy*

"Oh and Boss, please may i have permission to get my revenge and continue my war with ragnarok if he arrives, we never got round to finishing it off in the old cantina! Don't worry, i'm sure he'll pay for the damage "

[General Woundwort]

[stares at RD though a haze of cigar smoke]

What have you been doing down there in sublevel 9, anyways? If Starfury Authority decides to crack down on cloning violations, you're on your own.

I haven't seen Rags around, but if you two want to "have fun", you go right ahead. But you've seen what I have waiting "in reserve" in case things get too out of hand...

[Atrocities]

Originally posted by Suicide Junkie:
The government and media are playing it down, but there is only one small colony of EEE in this area of the galaxy, and its population is composed of the survivors of the Space Monster infestation in their home territory. The warppoints to EEE space were closed off some time ago, and at great cost, but lately there have been some missing ships and an occasional sighting of baby spacemonsters in a nebulae near neutral space.

(Dun dun dunnn)

Ladies and Gentalmen, Suicide Junkie, the head of the Governmental Propaganda machine has entered the Bar.

The "offical" government position on the EEE is that there are no EEE. However, the "REAL" position is they do not want to start a panic as the EEE are coming in force. A huge armada of a billion ships and over a trillion shock troops - blob like things.

Nothing to see here folks, move along.

[Atrocities]

"Pick any celebrity, person or creature and i can have them cloned, combat trained and ready within a day! Added features like plasmatic fire breath or increased stamina will cost extra

I have a feeling we may have a deal"

That we do! One name - T'Pal.

When I get enough $$ to buy a new ship, and pay back Pax and all the others, I will order four more.

[General Woundwort]

Woundwort's wrist computer suddenly starts beeping wildly. He punches a few buttons on it and stares at a small screen on its top. He whistles, punches a few more buttons, and holds the computer near his mouth.

"Ladies, gentlemen, and assorted other beings. It appears sports night has started a little early today..."

He punches a few more buttons, and the fog screen that had been displaying the Angry Mob[tm] demanding the Starfury demo disappears. In its place, a live broadcast of a three-way fight between Rollo, Dogscoff, and Growltigger.

The patrons of the Cantina immediately begin rooting for various parties in the fight, and placing side bets.

[Erax]

A large holoprojection takes shape high over the Bar/Grille area...

"Erax to Wounwort. Urgent news. The Starfury demo has been released. Repeat, the Starfury demo has been released. Over and ou---umphhhhh."

A large holo-projected cream pie hits Erax's holo-projected head as his image disappears...

[Suicide Junkie]

Originally posted by Atrocities:
Ladies and Gentalmen, Suicide Junkie, the head of the Governmental Propaganda machine has entered the Bar.

The "offical" government position on the EEE is that there are no EEE. However, the "REAL" position is they do not want to start a panic as the EEE are coming in force. A huge armada of a billion ships and over a trillion shock troops - blob like things.

Nothing to see here folks, move along.

Actually, I've been here for quite some time. My ship is still under repair, and I can't take off until at least two engines are running.

The EEE are not the problem, its the Space Monsters that are chasing the EEE that you need to worry about.
See the claw marks on that battlecruiser in the spacedock?

Besides, are you really more worried about a couple of EEE troopers, or the insidious infectious scourge of spacemonsters?
Beware! A Demon Egg could be waiting aboard your ship, undetected and ready to hatch.

[ September 22, 2003, 18:06: Message edited by: Suicide Junkie ]

[General Woundwort]

The fight at the original Phong's Head winds down in an ankle-deep layer of merangue. The fog screen fades as the customers return to their original activities.

Woundwort smiles as he counts his winnings. As usual, Growltigger was declared the winner, and several side-bets on the Boss have paid off. He hands the pile of gold-pressed latinum to the maitre 'droid. "You know what to do with this."

"H. Uppmann double coronas?"

"Good lad."

[General Woundwort]

Hmmm... lots of traffic out there now that the demo's out, but it's gotten quiet in here... Hey RD, think we should extend the traditional "Free Drinks" Grand Opening Offer (we'd put it on Rag's tab, of course... )?