Cripple Fight! - And the Lame shall inherit the earth!

[Burnsaber]

Disclaimer: The good jokes in this post are by Calahan. The bad ones are by me. I decline from taking any credit for the good ones.


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This game will only feature nations that have not yet won a single MP game, according to the thread on victorious nations (http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/showthread.php?t=33275). If someone gives some info on a nation winning a non-blitz game, I'll remove it. This is your chance to play your favourite weak nation without some stupid niefels bounding you into dust in turn 14, although there are some nations that are consider pretty good in the mix. Well, there must be some reason for them not having won a single game.

Name of the Game - CrippleFight
Type - llamaserver PBEM (Play By EMail)
Map: Etruscae 158 land + 22 water (about 14,3 provs per land player and 11 per water nation)
Download link for the map: http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/showt...light=etruscae
Mods: CBM 1.4, Multi-age mod (Downloadable from this post:
http://forum.shrapnelgames.com/showp...0&postcount=41)
Players: 13
Settings: renaming on, Large HoF, magic sites 40

Hosting Schedule:
24h per turn until turn 20, then 36h to 40, then 48h to 60 and finally 60h after turn 60

Delays:
-Each player will be granted a one day delay on request. If there are longer delays (especially in the first 20-30 turns), please try to find a sub. But if push comes to shove, delays are highly preferred over setting someone AI. If someone has trouble keeping up on the schedule, just speak up and can negotiate a better hosting schedule.

Victory Condition
- The surrender of all other losers.


Nations in the game:

EA

Ermor - Calahan - SURVIVED - But declined to fight like a man at the end, and instead wimped out like a little girl waving his white handbag in the air.
Abysia - Frozen Lama - SURVIVED - Fuelled the MA Atlantis war machine with Nexus gems for many turns, then got hit in the face with said machine. There was much pain.
Tir na n'Og - Valerius - SURVIVED - But never did find a cure for his arachnophobia.
Atlantis - TheDemon - DEFEATED ON TURN 11

MA

Machaka - Meglobob - SURVIVED - And is currently in the process of suing the J.R.R. Tolkien estate for inventing Elves in the first fecking place. -- Gregstrom won Joker with Machaka, so won't be in the sequel.
Vanheim - Burnsaber - AI, from turn 36 -- MA Vanheim won the Spellchecker game, won't be in the sequel.
Bandar Log - veto - DEFEATED ON TURN 32
Atlantis - Zeldor - WINNER - After taking over the ship mid voyage, managed to successfully steer the aquatic society through the Giant lands of Fire and Shade.
Eriu - Fakeymcfake - AI, from turn 16

LA

Arcoscephale - tgbob - DEFEATED ON TURN 64
Gath - viccio - AI, from turn 63 -- Gath won the Wildpansies game, won't be in the sequel.
Atlantis - Jazzepi - AI, from turn 27
Bogarus - Alpine Joe - DEFEATED ON TURN 68. -- Bogarus won the Artefacts game, won't be in the sequel.


OPENING SOON!

Cripple Fight II - The Lamepire Strikes Back.

Final Castings

EA Ermor - Fired their agent after an embarrassing final scene in the first movie, and are now looking for new representation in the sequel.
EA Abysia - The shocking finale to the original now sees these being hastily written into the script for the follow-up.
EA Tir na n'Og - The Elves are back girls. So start practising your fan-girl screams.
EA Atlantis - The script for the sequel has long been based on these, with the story revolving around how their peaceful, predator free life underwater, comes to a crashing end.

MA Machaka - Axed after Gregstorm persuaded them to appear in a Batman spin-off after stealing the show in the "Joker"
MA Vanheim - Booted out after demanding a huge pay increase after receiving an Oscar nomination for "Spellchecker"
MA Bandar Log - Monkeys! Monkey Magic! Can all Pigsy look-a-likes please leave your details with the producer.
MA Atlantis - In true dramatic, unforeseen, plot-twisting style, announced in the very last line of the original that they wouldn't be returning to the franchise.
MA Eriu - A safe bet to once again be partnering their cousin Tir-Na in the sequel.

LA Arco - There wouldn't be a film without them.
LA Gath - Got a shock 11th hour offer to shoot Wildpansies2 instead. So now won't be appearing again.
LA Atlantis - Well known to be down on luck and short of cash. So is certain to be snapped up for the sequel.
LA Bogarus - Signed an exclusive contract with award winning director Micah to spend the next 17 years shooting "Artifacts - The Movie", in Real Time and Split Screen.

Check you local cinema listings.