Ye New Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina - After Hours

[Raging Deadstar]

*Slowly parks his dented battle cruiser into the parking lot, yet again hitting one of the parking meters. Before Raging Deadstar can get out the ship is mabushed by the loo worshipping pygmies run over and cover the ship in toilet paper before escaping to vandalise more property.

Wanders inside to see the New years celebrations still under swing, with ragnarok hanging from the rafters by his belt for some reason, Timstone has currently nipped off upstairs with his polish girlfriend for a few minutes, looks like we won't be seeing him for a while...

Puke meanwhile is trying hard to drown the fact he stole post number 2000, drowning it with a lot of brewskis on timsones tab. The other patrons are all sitting back cheering our very own Barry, the singing parking valet t-rex in full concert*

Happy New Year guys

Kamog: The loo worshipping pygmies were something i came up with *takes full credit* A lot of the patrons were worried about setting foot in the inner sanctum to relieve themselves, so forth leaving a mess outside in the parking lot. Then the sewer god appeared, then our very own puke banished this fiend. Well i think it was puke, if not please tellme and you can have access to my tab. I'm not doing much research on this part of the post!

[DarkHorse]

Originally posted by David Gervais:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Timstone:
I join you David in the quest to preserve this Cantina!

Not 'Preserve', rather we should endeavor to keep it marinated in a nice thick verbal sauce. Seasoned with some nice spicy verbs and nouns, stir it gently with a few well, placed pauses and punctuations!

Ok, maybe a little thick, but I always liked my gravey thick!

Cheers!

---

Mmmmm, verbal sauce... "That'sa spicy meataball!"

[Timstone]

Not a bad idea David! This Version of The Cantina is the first I've seen and it's a bloody shame to wreck this Cantina. Why not carry on with it and be happy with all the strange things that happened here. I remember the first time I got here. The Loo-Worshippers were just discovered and were wreaking havoc upon every man that set foot in their holy shrine. It was such a happy time, the time that GT ruled The Cantina with an iron fist. Yes, those were the days!
I join you David in the quest to preserve this Cantina!

[David E. Gervais]

Originally posted by TerranC:
That's live and let die.

.. I have no 'Bonds' to movie titles, and I prefer my words stirred not shaken!

Yowzer!

[Puke]

As the Loo-worshiping pygmies rampage through the parking lot, Puke produces an oversized acetylene torch, and ignites his remaining shots in a spaztic moment of drunken revelry. His phalanx of GHB-miniturized FBW-clones fly into a panic at the suden inferno that has be lit behind them, and dash across the Cantina floor.

The mad dash of movement sends a twitch of panic through all in the room, which unfortuneatly includes the already trigger-happy llamas. The Cantina falls into slow motion, as contrails from the llamas missiles streak hither and yon. Patrons scamper about shreiking, some smothered by exploded Custard Munitions, others with limbs partially gnawwed off by rampaging Pygmies.

Puke slams a flaming shot of Grey Goose down his gullet. Security FBWs cut down rowdy llamas with their concealable Anti-Proton-BLasters. Bystandards choke to death on custard, as missiles continue to streak accross the room. In one dark corner, unmolested by the chaos, a perticularly fateful game of chess is being played.

[Raging Deadstar]

At which point an explosion makes the cantina shudder to its foundations, a deluge of custard smothers those unlucky enough to come into it's path.

Raging Deadstar wipes his face clean for the umpteenth time and looks down at the game of chess with mac, whom is sitting back slowly sipping a brewski smiling one of his old smile, the smile that says "I Have you beaten 5 different ways, now move already!"

Raging Deadstar moves his rook forward, takes mac's bishop, and falls into despair as Mac then says the words checkmate. He stands up and valiantly congratulates Mac on his stunning victory, buys mac a brewski then does what any self respecting cantina resident is doing at this point.

He turns, picks up his 1 month old baguette, spies the pygmy dancing around a fallen ragnarok, swings back, FORE! And proceeds to watch as the pygmy is sent flying across the room by a fearsome golf swing. Feeling better after his defeat Raging Deadstar dives over the bar, ducks as a rocket of custard explodes above his head. He pulls out a tape recording device, whispers a word and throws the tape player across the room to where a group of trigger happy llamas are firing there munitions. One curious llama piskc it up, presses play, hears the word onion shouted out on full volume and the group are covered by the falling rampage of onions!

Touche!

[Jmenschenfresser]

As the Loo-worshiping pygmies rampage through the parking lot

What?? I haven't been in here since post 900s or there bouts, and those damned pygmies are still rampaging?? My god...

Mensch, on the verge of uttering curses upon the lot of the Cantina's remnants, suddenly closes his mouth, turns, and starts to walk away. He kicks a beer can, which unbeknownst to him contained an entire civilization of 200 trillion sentient intelligent beings. They all die. The god of which, enraged that the Last 200 billion years of prodding evolution have gone to waste (an old beer can apparently), burns himself out of existence by zapping the fourth hair down from the knuckle on Mensch's left hand pinky. A puff of smoke and that familiar smell of trying to light an already used match on the kitchen stove.

He climbs in his craft and sets off scowling all the way and looking for something new under the bright glow of the galactic center.

[Raging Deadstar]

Originally posted by Jmenschenfresser:

quote:

---

As the Loo-worshiping pygmies rampage through the parking lot

What?? I haven't been in here since post 900s or there bouts, and those damned pygmies are still rampaging?? My god...

Mensch, on the verge of uttering curses upon the lot of the Cantina's remnants, suddenly closes his mouth, turns, and starts to walk away. He kicks a beer can, which unbeknownst to him contained an entire civilization of 200 trillion sentient intelligent beings. They all die. The god of which, enraged that the Last 200 billion years of prodding evolution have gone to waste (an old beer can apparently), burns himself out of existence by zapping the fourth hair down from the knuckle on Mensch's left hand pinky. A puff of smoke and that familiar smell of trying to light an already used match on the kitchen stove.

He climbs in his craft and sets off scowling all the way and looking for something new under the bright glow of the galactic center.

---

Heh, Jmenschenfresser we did get rid of the pygmies for a while, but the recent invasion of health inspectors insulting thier way of living and a few weak bladdered llamas have left them slightly miffed!

[mac5732]

Mac thanks RD for a good game of chess and watches his golf swing admiring the dexterity of the drive, aaaa, nice shot, Mac orders another brewski on Rags tab, looks around and mumbles to himself, "its a shame the "device" has been engaged and nothing can stop the countdown, the only problem is, no one knows the exact time or post that the "device" shall pour forth its unknown containments" so everyone, throw a loo worshiper, pound the llamas, drink a toast or two, becareful of the "O" word, and remember, this

THE "DEVICE" IS COUNTING DOWN

just some ideas Mac

[TerranC]

Originally posted by mac5732:
THE "DEVICE" IS COUNTING DOWN

What's the device?

*Sees mac pointing to a thermonuclear device covered with onions and llama dung*

Zounds.

[ January 03, 2003, 03:14: Message edited by: TerranC ]