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May 9th, 2005, 10:25 PM
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Major General
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Tasmania, Australia
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Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
2 brothers from an un-determined country arrive at Immigration. The official tells them that they have to answer a few questions one of which is what line of work they are in.
"Pilot" says Brother number 1.
"Peat cutter" says brother number 2.
"congratulations" the official says to brother number 1 "We are glad to accept you into our country. Then the official turns to brother number 2 "I'm sorry but we can't accept you.
"Why not?" asks brother number 2 "You took my brother"
"Yes" explains the official "but you see we desperately need new pilots, whereas there is no demand for peat cutters"
"But if I don't cut it he can't pilot"  |
May 10th, 2005, 12:47 AM
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Shrapnel Fanatic
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Join Date: Mar 2003
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Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
What do they have against Peat Cutters? He's a nice guy.
__________________
If I only could remember half the things I'd forgot, that would be a lot of stuff, I think - I don't know; I forgot!
A* E* Se! Gd! $-- C-^- Ai** M-- S? Ss---- RA Pw? Fq Bb++@ Tcp? L++++
Some of my webcomics. I've got 400+ webcomics at Last count, some dead.
Sig updated to remove non-working links.
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May 10th, 2005, 03:47 AM
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Major General
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Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
Ok, so I know what peat is but why does the other guy need peat to pilot something?
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O'Neill: I have something I want to confess you. The name's not Kirk. It's Skywalker. Luke Skywalker.
-Stargate SG1
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May 10th, 2005, 03:50 AM
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Major
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Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
"pilot" -> "pile it"
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May 10th, 2005, 03:53 AM
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Major General
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Tasmania, Australia
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Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
damn, sorry. Should have corrected the spelling at the end.  |
May 10th, 2005, 05:50 PM
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Captain
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Location: USA
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Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre HEHEHE
Man runs into doctor's office: Doctor, doctor, please help me! My wife thinks she's a car!
Doctor: OK, give me a few minutes, and I'll see what I can do for her.
At that, the man starts running for the door, and the doctor says: Hey, where are you going?
Man: Oh, I can't just leave her out there. She's double-parked.
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Give me a scenario editor, or give me death! Pretty please???
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May 10th, 2005, 08:01 PM
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Lieutenant Colonel
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Join Date: Oct 2003
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Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
Could have been worse it could have been the one about the what you call two Phillipino pilots (A Pair of plyers)
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When life gives you lemons take them and squeeze them in life's eye until it gives you the oranges you asked for!
"If men build things to look like our penis such as towers and ships does that mean female achitects represent women having penis envy?"
A line that made me chuckle, I can't remember where I heard it I just know it made me laugh.
"I'm not really a slapper....I mainly punch and gouge."
Tammy Lee my kung fu instructor/sifu's daughter when asked if she ever slapped a boy for saying something nasty to her.
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May 15th, 2005, 10:00 AM
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Major General
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Tasmania, Australia
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Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
If you wanted to know how Greeting cards are made (or even if you couldn't care less )
http://www.chrisharding.net/animatio...playmovie.html |
May 15th, 2005, 10:16 AM
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National Security Advisor
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Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
I like that one Randall. Funny stuff.
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May 17th, 2005, 08:45 AM
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Major General
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Tasmania, Australia
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Re: Jokes and Riddles Centre
Ok it's not a joke and it's not a riddle but it is a puzzle (kinda). I will admit it's the opposite of funny.
http://artscool.cfa.cmu.edu/~lee/deanimator.html
2 tips.
1. It only takes 1 bullet if the Zombie is still emerging.
2. I managed to get 130 by resorting to rapid fire when they are bunched up.
Edit: just discovered you can change to a shotgun by pressing shift. Warning though, they get halfway across in the time it takes to reload the shotgun. |
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