Ye Olde Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina

[Growltigga]

Originally posted by Imperator Fyron:
Fyron - act spotty

Eh? What's that mean?

Sorry Fyron, I was just being offensive and also seeing whether or not you were paying attention..

The reference, for which I apologise, is saying that you should act like a pre-pubescent acne ridden spotty nerd which is (a) unkind and (b) untrue

Apologies and note to self not to argue the bugger with everyone for no reason.

[dogscoff]

Dogscoff leans back in his executive leather chair, enjoying the amazing panoramic view from his office on the top floor of the monolithic Tigg-scoff breweries office building. In the distance, he can just about make out the Cantina beneath the network of missile trails and plumes of smoke. He asks his personal assistant (an ex-fluffy bunny waitress, now more profitably employed and attired in a classic sexy- secretary suit.) for some binoculars, and she smiles seductively as she hands them to him.

With the binoculars Dogscoff can more clearly see the carnage going on in the cantina. There appears to some very heavy weaponry in use, and a swarm of what look like dinosaurs runing amok. "That building can't take much more of this kind of abuse" he thinks to himself, as he sips his whisky. With his new executive lifestyle, Dogscoff considers that it's time to move on to a classier drinking establishment, or at the very least level this one and rebuild it, preferably out of something designed to withstand a direct nuclear strike.

His finger hovers over the controls to the orbital weapons satelite, which even now is moving into position above the cantina, eager to unleash it's awesome payload. His personal assistant pauses from her latest duty to look imploringly up into his eyes, but to no avail. He presses the button marked "Kerboom!", and closes the office blinds.

[Gryphin]

Some where I can’t be seen, (because Gryphins are naturally invisible when they want to be).
Sipping a chilled Chardoney from South East Australia, (and in full agreement on the state of most North American beers).
Watching with bemusement the final moments of the Cantinna.
Thinking back to the days I first instigated repartee with some bloke from Europe who mentioned the number of forum posters (on each side of the Atlantic), and said we should have an “across the pond” contest. Being the impulsive one I threw down the gauntlet and unleashed the Ferocious Fearsome Feline Fury.
The quadrant will never be the same.
A quick smirk, wry grin, ….

[ July 05, 2002, 12:04: Message edited by: The High Gryphin ]

[Growltigga]

the camera pans back across a bLasted, charred landscape and the mushroom cloud rising above the burst of actinic fire that is all that remains of one of the galaxy's finest watering holes....

Over at Tig-Scoff PLC's offices, the door to the President's office is rudely kicked open by a pinstriped, stylishishly suited Growltigga. The Kat looks at Scoffo sitting in his executive chair and then looks at the personal fluffy bunny assistant cowering by El Scoffo. Growltigga clicks his fingers and the poor girl comes running over to crouch at his feet.

Growltigga lights a large cigar, clicks his fingers a second time and a horde of corporate lawyers, accountants from PricewaterhouseCooopers and muscly bodyguards comes up behind him...
"This" says the Great Kat to El Scoffo, "is what is called a corporate takeover".....

The camera pans back again and focuses on a small figure with concrete boots on being chucked off a bridge by 2 snazzily dressed chaps wearing fedoras, with a splash, El Scoffo disappears under the waves, never to return

[Growltigga]

Having slaughtered all other denizens of the Cantina, and having successfully removed Dogscoff from the helm of Tigg-a PLC (formerly known as Tigg-Scoff PLC), Growltigga breathes a great sigh of relief.

Gryphin materialises next to him and together, they share a nice bottle of chilled Lindemans Bin 63, with some tasteful canapes and appropriate nibbles.

Standing on the roof of Tigg-a PLC's head office, lord of all they survey, Gryphin and Growltigga realise that their cunning plan to take over the world has worked.

It is theirs.

And lo, verily it is foretold that a new cantina will arise from the ashes liketh unto spring flowers after rain, that said cantina will be a place of peace and tranquility, of grand cuisine, pleasant company and decent ale, and any peasant drinking crappy American beer will have done to them what God did'eth unto the sodomites, and if they then mess with the fluffy bunny waitresses (who have been practicing their samba'ing on copacabana beach and getting tans) they will have done to them what the sodomites did to one another...

A new future is to be born