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  #31  
Old May 14th, 2003, 03:57 AM

Taera Taera is offline
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Default Re: a piece of pizza in a box

Bug comes in, sees aliens all around some box. After short but useless attempts to get in bug simply snatches the pizza while partially remaining outside. With a *THUNK* the box tries to close... and gets stuck on the rigid chitin. happy, the bug munches on pizza and walks away, buzzing.
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  #32  
Old May 14th, 2003, 04:12 AM
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Default Re: a piece of pizza in a box

it's a double airlock.

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  #33  
Old May 14th, 2003, 04:28 AM
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Suicide Junkie Suicide Junkie is offline
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Default Re: a piece of pizza in a box

A double airlock would be excessive.

A simple airlock still has two doors, and the inner one only opens if the outer one is closed.

Of course, no matter how many airlocks you have, you can't prevent people from waiting for someone to come in...

1) hapless soul #1 comes in looking for pizza.
2) as inner door opens to let him in, the gang piles into the airlock with pizza in hand.
3) when hapless soul #2 comes along, the inner door closes, the outer door opens to let him in, and he gets stampeded by the departing ex-trapees.

A double airlock merely requires twice as many hapless souls to wander in.

[ May 14, 2003, 03:29: Message edited by: Suicide Junkie ]
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  #34  
Old May 14th, 2003, 05:10 AM

Taz-in-Space Taz-in-Space is offline
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Default Re: a piece of pizza in a box

Taz need more pizza! Hmmm, only one pizza box left!

&#1 Taz studies trap...is much improved! &#1

Taz sighs and reluctantly starts up long dorment
brain...a humming noise is noticed - rapidly building up to a high roar. Suddenly a sputtering noise is heard. Quickly the roar dies to a whisper and the all is again silent...

Knew I should have checked my sugar (brain fuel) level.

Is OK however; that brief moment of power gave Taz an idea! (Make note of time, date, & place - is miracle!! )

Reaching deep into his pockets (Of course Taz's have pockets, just don't ask where...)Taz pulls out his ACME Hand-held Time Machine.
Taz stands next to box and sets it for two days ago. Box disappears as Taz goes back in time.
He then walks to where box will be and presses the return button.
Taz materializes beside the pizza within the box.
Quickly grabbing the pizza, he again goes back in time.
Taz then walks out of box area and again hits the return to present button.
Mmmmm goood, Narf sure knows his pizza!!!

As Taz walks slowly out of Kodiak's cubical, he 'helps' Kodiak but pressing the power button.
(No need to thank me Kodiak, you obviously didn't mean to leave the power on while you're not working! )
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  #35  
Old May 14th, 2003, 05:13 AM
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Dingocat85 Dingocat85 is offline
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Default Re: a piece of pizza in a box

The vivacious Dingo-cat had heard legends of the legendary piece of pizza, guarded by The Box: a security system so unbelievably complex & high-tech, it cost more than the yearly budget of most Neutral Empires.

But where many others had failed, Dingocat would succeed. Dingocat approaches the box with caution, until situated exactly 4 spaces away from the pizza, and 2 spaces away from the infamous Box.

Pulling out a Tractor Beam II, Dingocat fires it at the pizza slice and hits on first shot - it is close range, ya know. Due to the laws of time & space governing Tractor Beams, the slice does not go crashing into Dingocat, but instead stops just before impact.
The minimal damage caused by the Tractor Beam makes the cheese all warm and gooey ... Dingocat enjoys the swiped pizza slice, and goes home happy
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  #36  
Old May 14th, 2003, 05:46 AM
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Default Re: a piece of pizza in a box

it's a reinforced box with steel bars, teleport proofing, quick-closing doors and a 50,000 volt anti-*mechanic* device. yeah, i got a bit confused. single airlock, which has 2 doors. so dingocats have delusions and doesn't have any pizza.

adds temporal shielding. changes the double doors to transporters and walls. transporter, wall, transporter, wall.
cooks another pizza and eats it. hey, why should you be getting all the pizza?

[ May 14, 2003, 05:06: Message edited by: narf poit chez BOOM ]
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  #37  
Old May 14th, 2003, 06:24 AM
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Chronon Chronon is offline
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Default Re: a piece of pizza in a box

Chronon, currently traveling with Zaphod Beeblebrox in the Heart of Gold, suddenly smells pizza. "Zaphod, do you smell pizza?" he asks.
"Yeah, man, we've just appeared in some kind of strange box with a pizza, and some really weird aliens," Zaphod replies. "Which reminds me, I'm hungry. Marvin, could you come here please?"
"I suppose you want me to go and get the pizza for you," says Marvin dejectedly.
"Yeah, how'd you know?"
"All this computing power, and what do they want? A servant. Marvin, open the door, Marvin, get the pizza, Marvin, deactivate the traps..."
"Did he say something about traps?" asks Chronon.
"Yeah, whatever..." replies Zaphod.
Marvin exits the Heart of Gold, disarms the traps, and retrieves the pizza.
"Thanks Marvin," mumbles Chronon, mouth full of pizza.
"Hey, this would go great with a Pan-Galactic Gargle BLaster," muses Zaphod, reaching for a glass.
Eddie the shipboard computer, re-engages the Infinite Improbability Drive and the Heart of Gold disappears...
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  #38  
Old May 14th, 2003, 07:07 AM
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Default Re: a piece of pizza in a box

Hmm, I think I'll stay away... As delicious as it might be, I'm not going to risk being trapped in there just for a piece of pizza. I can just go to the pizza restaurant down the street and buy an entire pizza for about $10. I might be more motivated to go into the box if there were something more significant in there.
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  #39  
Old May 14th, 2003, 07:32 AM
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Fyron Fyron is offline
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Default Re: a piece of pizza in a box

Fyron walks up to the box. He casts a spell of metal-shaping on it, and forms a large hole. Luckily, he was far enough back that the stampede of escaping victims does not crush him. He goes in, grabs the pizza, and walks out.

[ May 14, 2003, 06:35: Message edited by: Imperator Fyron ]
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  #40  
Old May 14th, 2003, 07:35 AM
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Default Re: a piece of pizza in a box

All those who approach the box hear a song wallowing from within. It's a song of despair and sorrow, sung with a deep voice:

"
Nooooobody knows,
the trouble i've seen,
Nooooobody knows,
but Jesus...
"



The sound of a tin can clattering against metal bars can also be heard from within...

*tink*tink*tink*

May the Schwartz be with you
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