1) If 2 nations summon a unique creature/forge a unique magic item on the same turn, how is it determined which one gets it? Does the one that doesn't get it get their gems back?
2) If a unique magic item is carried into battle, its wielder slain, and no one picks it up, can it be reforged?
1) Random. Probably like so many things Caster ID order or reverse Caster ID order.
No, you don't get the gems back. In fact nothing stops you from casting the unique summons again when there are no more available. You still lose the gems.
2) Lost artifacts can be reforged.