AAR: More like "ARRR", am I right? (Pirate)

[Stavetor]

AKA "Captain Collins flies the Shrike around Sector Prime and blows things up". Be warned, this one is long (and it took me most of the day to write up, so if you like it, let me know).

Captain's Log 1.1.4590, 10950 days to go.
I know I haven't exactly been the model officer over my career, but I still wasn't expecting to get my application for a captainship back with a big red "LOL" stamped on it, and a handwritten note from Major Brass underneath saying "Seriously, never bother me again." Merry [expletive] Christmas to you too, Brass! That was just over a week ago. This week has gone by in a drunken blur. My brain was still doing its best to break free from my skull and go hide somewhere when I found myself sitting across from a grinning Lextor Mucron. He shook my hand, said "Congratulations, Captain Collins. You leave in 48 hours." and showed me out of his office. Over the next 2 days, I pieced together that I'd been given command of this ship, the Shrike, and a mission to bring back as much valuable booty as I can in 30 years. Thirty years! Thank God this chair is comfortable, because I'm going to be spending a LOT of time in it.
Navigation has plotted a course for Aldebaran, 3.3 light years away, and Glory is in the rear-view, getting smaller by the second. Off I go. I hope I've got a good crew, because if not, this could be a long thirty years. Or a very short one, if you catch my meaning.

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Captain's Log 4.10.90, 10851 days to go. Aldebaran.
What was I saying about the crew? What a bunch of clowns. Everyone on this ship is a washout from somewhere, be it Fleet, Marines, Science Corps, or what have you. I guess I fit right in. At least they know who's boss. I had a rough first week, but after that drinking contest with Security Chief Gohoda, things got better. He's a beast of a guy, and beat me pretty soundly, but I guess I held my own long enough for the rest of the crew to start showing me some respect. At least they've stopped doing "air quotes" with their fingers when they call me "Captain".
Aldebaran is a bit of a washout. Just some dead hunk of rock orbiting the star, and a freebooter ship orbiting that. The captain was a lady, and pretty good looking, too. I couldn't convince her to come along for the ride, though. All that talk about grand adventure among the stars, but in the end she wanted something tangible before she signed on. Everyone's a mercenary these days.
Off to Trianguli. It's 5.2 LY away.

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Captain's Log 9.13.90, 10695 days to go. Trianguli.
Who would have thought it? I've found proof that God exists, and He's got a strange sense of humor. We found the weirdest damn creature wandering an island Mariana, this system's planet. Ladysmith, our resident xenobiologist, identified it as a "Three-Headed Threep". Who spawned this thing, and why? It's sentient, but only barely. Maybe we can get it to clean this place up a bit. If nothing else, torturing it should provide some comic relief over the next 3 months as we head off to the Sigma system.

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Captain's Log 1.2.91, 10584 days to go. Sigma.
Nothing interesting here, just a barren little planet with a thin atmosphere, barely capable of sustaining life. Interestingly enough, though, Owens in Engineering found an anomaly in the Hydrogen Fusion Drive, and when they looked into it further, it turned out we had a Plasmaworm on board. Owens is keeping it for a pet.
From here, it's 5.7 LY to Zwirble. It's a yellow star, so hopefully we find an inhabitable world.

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Captain's Log 6.23.91, 10412 days to go. Zwirble.
We found a wreck on the planet below. Nothing left but a Nebular Extent Calculator- the jungle had swallowed everything else of value. No sign of the crew anywhere, and we're not sticking around to find out. This place is spooky. We'll be at Iblis in another four months.

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Captain's Log 11.18.91, 10264 days to go. Iblis.
This planet's only world, Zorn, is a toxic nightmare. Again we found the remains of some alien wreck below, so we sent the Threep down to investigate. It didn't come back with any extra heads, so I guess things weren't too bad down there, but I still wasn't about to send any of the crew. The little turd actually found something useful, though- the ship still had a working Plasma Blaster. It took us a week and a half to bring it back and get it installed where the Impaler Missile rack used to be, but I think it was worth it.
We're heading back to Aldebaran. It's 10 LY away. Sensors indicate that freebooter babe is still around, so maybe the sight of us having picked up a little loot will bring her around this time. We could use the backup as we head further afield of Glory. Things have been pretty easy this last couple of years, and I'm worried that it won't last for long...

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Captain's Log 9.18.02, 9960 days to go. Back at Aldebaran.
I convinced Captain Walker (aka "Sunset Sue") to come along for the ride with a few kind words and sending over the Nebular Extent Calculator as a goodwill gift. A better deal than I've gotten from most of the women in my life.
We're off to Jewel, 12.5 LY away, just on the edge of the Evil Darkness (the closest of this sector's nebulae). Gonna be a long trip.

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Captain's Log 12.28.03, 9494 days to go. Jewel.
A whole damn year and then some in space, and then a man lost to a Purple People Eater on some barren desert world. Great. The thing jumped out from behind some rock grabbed one of Gohoda's red-shirted security monkeys while they were scouting the planet's surface. While it was busy eating, it was distracted enough for the rest of the team to subdue and capture it, so at least it wasn't a total loss. You know, except for the guy who got eaten.
I hate this [expletive] nebula. There's a little red dwarf worth exploring just a few LY from here, but with our engines it would take us forever to get there. So it's back to Glory, 15.2 LY away, and then from there we'll see how it goes.

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Captain's Log 8.10.95, 8904 days to go. Glory.
Lextor was NOT happy to see me when we stopped in for a visit at Tiber. He settled down after I explained to him that we were heading out again once we got resupplied. Keeping him from seeing the goods we'd picked up over the years was tough, but I really couldn't have him finding out that all we had to show for nearly 5 years out there was a couple of strange creatures, a Plasma Blaster, and a sister ship.
I sold him the Purple People Eater (I don't want to know what he's going to use it for, but I can guess) for a few hundred bucks, and with that plus the trade-in for our Neptunium Railgun, we got a nice shiny new Gauss Cannon on Hope. It took 10 days to get it installed, but it was worth it. Now we're headed to Angel, another 15.2 LY run. It was good to be back, but better to get flying again.

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Captain's Log 11.14.96, 8443 days to go. Angel.
In orbit over Althea, a pretty (but boring) marine world. The only excitement we've had for quite a while came when someone overheard Owens screaming and freaking out in the engine room. We all came running in to find out what was going on, and he was flustered over a Chaos Weevil that was trying to eat his Plasmaworm. Rasmus, the Science Officer, managed to isolate it, just in the nick of time. Owens wanted to kill the Weevil, but we managed to calm him down. As long as we keep them apart, things should be fine. Maybe the Weevil will be worth something.
From here, we head to Auric, 6.2 LY away.

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Captain's Log 5.20.97, 8256 days to go. Auric.
Now this was a good day. The planet below, Kree'Ark, turns out to be inhabited by these weird birds that will trade anything for anything. They seem to just do it for the love of trading. If that's not a pirate's dream come true, I don't know what is. We traded our crappy Electron Matrix shield for a beautiful, brand new Temporal Flux Shield, our old Hydrogen Fusion drive for an Ion Flux engine, and the old Impaler Missile for a Positron Scrambler (which will replace the Plasma Blaster). We're going to spend a few weeks installing all our new goodies and hanging with the natives, and then we're making the 12.8 LY trip to Ceres.

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Captain's Log 5.27.98, 7884 days to go. En route to Angel from Ceres.
Holy hell! We're lucky to be alive. After 329 days in orbit (I really like those new Ion Flux drives), we dropped out of warp only to find ourselves surrounded by some very ugly and hostile aliens. Ladysmith identified them as Urluquai. It took us all of 10 seconds to realize that we were outnumbered and outgunned, so we turned tail and ran. With the upgrades we've put in over the last few years, I'd pit the Shrike against any one of those ships in a fair fight, but there were just too many. So now we're headed back to Angel.

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Captain's Log 3.30.99, 7577 days to go. Angel.
Angel hasn't gotten any more interesting since we were here last, so we're off to Inferno, 13 LY away.

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Captain's Log 5.31.99, 7515 days to go. En route to Inferno from Angel.
Things were going so well, until Navigator Kohin pointed out the black hole sitting right in front of us. At least we found out now, instead of after having wasted a year in flight. Back to Angel again, and then from there it's 16.5 LY to Efreeti.

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Captain's Log 9.26.4600, 7032 days to go. En route to Angel yet again.
Screw this quadrant. Efreeti is surrounded by an asteroid field, and as we navigated our way through it, we noticed a big old rock headed right toward us. We altered course, and it changed its own course to intercept. Kohin had heard of these things. They're living asteroids called "Tchorak", and this one was what they call a "Vent Mother", the biggest and meanest kind of all. No way we could go toe to toe with that. So we're back to Angel yet again. I hate that damn system. From there it's 20.5 LY to Zubenelgenubi, a dual system right between the three nebulae.

[Stavetor]

Captain's Log 5.3.03, 6083 days to go. Zubenelgenubi.
After two and a half years in the warp, it was good to see Zube-whatever-the-hell ahead of us. Imagine our surprise when we saw an ancient derelict spinning in empty space. Rasmus said that it was caught between the gravitational fields of the two stars, causing it to spin endlessly. We boarded it and found that its computer was still intact. A Sardion Optimizer! Top of the line, the computer is self-aware and incredibly smart. It's spent the last 200 years just drifting and waiting, unable to bring its ship's engines back online, and I think that may have driven it a little crazy. Nonetheless, it will make a good addition to the ship. We also found a Proton Phasor on board. Nothing we need, but maybe we can turn a profit off it somehow along the way.
From here it's 196 days to Pax, 7.6 LY away.

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Captain's Log 12.01.03, 5871 days to go. Pax.
Argos, the planet we're orbiting right now, is a marine world with only one significant landmass. We dispatched a team to check the place out and came across an ancient temple. Inside, we came across a beautifully crafted Chromium Gong, the only object left, other than bare stone. It will look nice on the bridge, I think. Talbot, our xeno-archaeologist was able to translate some of the inscription around the base. Something about the "Five Furies". Finally something Mucron might actually be interested in buying...
Jem is 3.4 LY away.

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Captain's Log 3.7.04, 5775 days to go. Jem.
We pulled into orbit above Jem's jungle planet, when we were assaulted by an alien interceptor of unknown origin. What the hell were they thinking? One shot from our Positron scanner was enough to split it in two. Nallen, the Tactical Officer, says that they were already heavily damaged. They had probably just been in an engagement and took us for more enemies. The only thing salvageable was a Hyperwave Tele-Scrambler. It took just over a week to install, and now we're off to Bootis.

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Captain's Log 7.19.04, 5641 days to go. En route to Pax from Bootis.
More Urluquai around Bootis, and this time they have a new kind of ship we hadn't encountered before. It's called the Deep Hunter, and it's capale of cloaking. All told there were three of them, with 5 fighter drones. More than we could handle, so we beat a hasty retreat. But we did discover something interesting- as soon as the alert klaxon went off, the Threep started running around in circles like an idiot, whooping its heads off and breaking things. Finally it managed to smack its middle head into the Chromium Gong we had hanging from the bridge ceiling. That knocked the middle head out and seemed to calm the other two, but more importantly it set the gong to ringing. They say that in space, nobody can hear you scream, but we all heard something screaming as five blazing "Furies" came shrieking in towards one of the Deep Hunters, blasting it to pieces. Interesting...

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Captain's Log 11.09.04, 5528 days to go. Pax again.
Considering what we now know about the Gong, we're going back back to Bootis to show the Urluquai what's what.

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Captain's Log 3.2.05, 5415 days to go. Bootis.
We pulled into orbit over Bootis's dead world, and the Urluquai were still there. I struck the gong above me, and as before, the Five Furies came from who knows where to annihilate a Deep Hunter. Between the Moon Marauder and the Shrike, we burned our way through the fighters to face off against the final Hunter. As soon as it dropped its cloak, we teamed up and killed it. Once we were sure all the Urluquai were toast, we broke out the refreshments and had a grand old time. Sunset Sue even shuttled over to the Shrike to party with us for a while. She was totally checking me out.
Among some of the wreckage of the Urluquai and their victims' ships, we found a Nebular Plow. It'll take two weeks to get set up, but it should make getting around a little easier. Good thing, too, because we got a vidcast from Mucron en route to here, congratulating us on being out here for 15 years without getting ourselves killed. 15 years. How is that possible? We're going to try the Nebular Plow out and head to Anthem, 7.6 LY away and stuck in the middle of a very large cloud.

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Captain's Log 5.9.07, 4617 days to go. Anthem.
I'm selling that damn Nebular Plow for the first good offer I can get. We penetrated into the first bit of nebula with little trouble, but about 1 LY into it, the going got slow. Two years of our lives wasted, struggling through space fog that refused to budge.
We found a Ruby Laser Drive on the jungle world of Oorg once we got here, and installed it onto the Marauder. Whoopty crap.
It's 8.1 LY back to Pax, through more damn nebula, and then 7.5 LY to the nearest unexplored system, Gygax. The way this journey has gone, maybe we'll find a cane! I get the feeling I'm going to need one by the time we get there.

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Captain's Log 5.10.09, 3886 days to go. Gygax.
Another lifeless rock of a planetoid, with another wreck in decaying orbit above us, with another crappy system left barely worth the time to salvage. Just great. We need to start showing a profit, or Mucron is going to lock me in a room with that Purple People Eater I sold him when we get back to Glory.
4.9 LY to Shard.

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Captain's Log 9.05.09, 3768 days to go. Shard.
We fought a pitched battle with a race we'd never seen before, called the Garthans. Angry bunch, but I guess if my face looked like that, I'd have a chip on my shoulder too. 3 corvettes and 2 fighters flew out to meet us, but a Gong ring and a few blasts of the Positron Scrambler and the Marauder's Micrometeorite Gun, we took care of them with no damage.
We searched through what was left of the hold of the last corvette, and came across a strange, inscribed box. We turned it over to Talbot, and he confirmed it to be the Codex of Primordius. He started in on a huge lecture about the supposed cursed it carried, the legends that had built up around it over the centuries, yadda yadda yadda. Gohoda smacked him a good one upside the head, and he got to the point- it's worth money. A LOT of money.
From here it's 5.0 LY to Szilard.

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Captain's Log 1.3.10, 3648 days to go. Szilard.
We've been at this for 20 years now. I'm feeling old. We're orbiting Mora, Szilard's forest planet. It might be worth colonizing some day, not that that means anything to us. The only thing worth our time here was the Molybednum Cone Cannon we pried off a drifting, dead fighter. Now off to Frotz, a blue star 6.1 LY from here.

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Captain's Log 5.31.10, 3500 days to go. Frotz.
I'm happy. Owens is ecstatic. While scouting the volcanic hell of Id, we came across yet another wreck. This one, however, was like nothing we'd ever seen. The tech was off the scale. Not much was left, but we found maybe the best thing ever- a Hyperdrive. We gave our Ion Flux drive to the Marauder and Owens's boys are installing the Hyperdrive on the Shrike as I write this. Finally after 20 years, our luck is changing. We're going to Amber, 35.6 LY away, sitting in the middle of the Evil Darkness, in a couple of days, and I can't wait.

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Captain's Log 7.4.10, 3466 days to go. Amber.
35 LY in 2 months? Everything's comin' up Collins! Nothing too interesting here, just something Ladysmith identified as a "Piranha Bee" swimming around in the waters of the planet below. Where to next? Does it really matter? I think... Ruby.

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Captain's Log 9.3.10, 3405 days to go. Ruby.
This system is home to a race called the Muktians. Ugly bastards, they look like giant slugs. They wouldn't let us pass any further, but they let us go without a fight. Ladysmith says that he's heard they've got a reputation as solid folks and willing traders, so I suppose it's best that we don't antagonize them. Maybe some day we'll have something that will spark their interest and convince them to let us stick around their system.

[Stavetor]

Captain's Log 1.3.11, 3283 days to go. Vizier.
As soon as we dropped out of warp, Rasmus picked up some weird temporal anomaly on the surface of whatever worthless lump of rock passes for a planet here, so we sent an away team to check it out. They came back up with the Timeless Bauble, a beautiful pendant holding something inside in perfect, timeless stasis. No sooner had we brought it on board than the damn Threep yelled "Gimme dat!", grabbed it, dropped it, and broke it on the floor. I was about ready to push him out an airlock, when, from out of nowhere appeared a "Lord Fomax", who had been trapped inside the Bauble. He offered us our heart's desire as thanks for freeing him, and before anyone else could say anything, Nallen was yelling "Nova Cannon! Nova Cannon!". Fomax disappeared in a puff of smoke, and left the Nova Cannon behind. None of us are too happy with Nallen right now, but he promises that we'll change our minds once we see this "Nova Cannon" in action... We'll see. We installed it and gave the Postron Scrambler to the Marauder.
Remember the Klakars from the Auric system a few years ago? One of their ships warped into the system a few days later as we were installing the Nova Cannon, and the thing is basically a marketplace with a warp drive and big guns. As before, they'll trade anything for anything else, just getting off on the transaction. We gave them our old Gauss Cannon and took a Multi-Missile Launcher off their hands. We also traded a lot of our better items to them for junk, basically for safekeeping. You just never know. Our best trade, however, had to be giving them the Threep for a Hyperfoam Injector. Will they use him for slave labor? Eat him? Frankly, I don't give a [expletive], as long as they keep his stupid squawking *** far away from me and my ship.

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Captain's Log 3.15.11, 3212 days to go. Eridani.
We met yet another hostile unknown race today, the "Tan Ru". They're a typical race of robots bent on exterminating all organic life. Fortunately they're not too much trouble. Before we left Vizier the Klakars gave us a beacon to call them whenever we needed to trade, or if we needed any help in combat. We Gonged one of their destroyers and called in the Klakars to help waste all the fighter drones the Tan Ru sent against us. After the battle, the Klakars expected payment, and seemed happy with a Plastic Time Capsule. Best deal ever.
A scouting mission to Nome, the world below, came across a Golden Canister buried in a snowdrift. On further inspection, Talbot declared it to be an artifact from ancient Earth! He opened it up, and inside was a perfectly preserved disk with all sorts of recordings from mankind's home. Fascinating, and definitely worth hanging on to. Unfortunately the cargo hold is stuffed, so we had to leave the Thrint Whistle behind. I'm not too concerned.

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Captain's Log 5.15.11, 3151 days to go. Incarnadine.
Ugh. What a rotten place. The planet is called Miasma, and it's a disgusting chemical soup that nothing could call home. We did a quick flyover, taking note of a huge expanse of mercury we dubbed the Quicksilver Sea. We're out of here.

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Captain's Log 7.15.11, 3090 days to go. Inferno.
12 years ago we tried to come here, but found a black hole in our way. This time around we found Muktians in our way, and a lot of them. My guess is that this is their homeworld. They let us go without incident, and we should be at Shard in a couple of months.

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Captain's Log 11.14.11, 2968 days to go. Back to Efreeti.
At Shard we had a brief discussion of where to go next, when we remembered our encounter with the Tchorak Vent Mother at Efreeti. We were interested to see how it stood up against the Chromium Gong. To make a short story shorter, it didn't. There were lots of wrecks drifting about above the frozen world of Siberia, victims of the Tchorak, and on one we found a working Multibot Repair Drone. My guess is that the thing didn't have any real ship left to repair once the Tchorak was done with it. We're hooking it up now, having given the Hyperfoam Injector to the Marauder.

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Captain's Log 1.14.12, 2907 days to go. Back to Ceres.
Another call to the Klakars and another ring of the Gong, and we took care of those Urluquai that ran us off from here all those years ago. While scavenging the burning wrecks, we came across something the Klakars called the Mantle of Babulon. They told us that it was the robe of some ambassador that united the various races of this sector centuries ago, working out all kinds of deals and treaties, some of which are still in effect to this day. Everyone will remember it and treat the bearer with utmost respect, they said. Basically it's a VIP pass to just about any inhabited planet we care to visit. The Klakars really seemed to want it, but it wasn't too hard to distract them and convince them to take a cheap Gatling Laser we found as payment for their help. Suckers.

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Captain's Log 3.15.12, 2846 days to go. Back to Inferno.
The Mantle works. As soon as they saw me with it around my shoulders, the Muktian ships changed from a blockade to an honor guard as we approached their homeworld. They greeted us and told us they had an Ambassador all ready to come on board. Just what we need, an overgrown slug trailing slime all over the ship. Still, he promises to stay out of the way and to reward us well when we get back to Glory, so I'm letting him on. Gohoda isn't too happy about it, but Ladysmith is beyond excited to have a sentient alien to talk to. I think he misses the Threep.
The Muktians had plent to trade, but unfortunately they drive a much harder bargain than the Klakars. We traded the Nebular Plow for a Continuum Renderer Array, and the Ruby Laser Drive & Chaos Weevil for a Limited Vacuum Collapser. The thought of guys like Mucron and his friends getting their hands on a weapon like the LVC makes me cringe, but the thought of what they'll be willing to pay for it makes me smile. A lot.

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Captain's Log 5.16.12, 2785 days to go. Orbis.
Nothing too interesting here, but for some reason the Muktians have a flotilla sitting watch over it. When they saw that we had Mxenug (their ambassador) along for the ride, they became very acommodating, even offering us a spare Plasma Torch.

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Captain's Log 7.16.12, 2724 days to go. Lyre.
Lyre's planet, the name of which escapes me, is pretty barren, but we did find a "Megamoeba", which Ladysmith assures us will be pretty useful. It better be, because it broke out of its container and dissolved the Gatling Laser before we were able to get it back where it belonged. Gohoda put an extra security detail on it.

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Captain's Log 9.15.12, 2663 days to go. Wan.
We faced off against another Tchorak, this one smaller than before. One ring of the Gong took care of that. We were getting a distress signal from the frozen world below, so I sent a team down to check it out. The signal was coming from this tiny little spy drone, which we dubbed the Golden Gnat. There's got to be a spy somewhere that will pay top dollar for a beauty like this. Unfortunately, we needed a good container for it, and had nothing but the Plastic Time Capsule, so we had to empty it out. Not like there was anything useful inside anyway.

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Captain's Log 11.15.12, 2602 days to go. Prokofiev.
The Muktians had a small fleet surveying this place, a beautiful grassland world called Lakota. When all this is over, I would love to come back here and call this place home. We found a herd of "Fuzzy Lummoxes" here and considered taking a specimen, but decided that they were better off in their natural habitat. Hey, even pirates have hearts. Anyway, it's not like we had room for it in the cargo hold. I'd love to spend a few more days here, but we need to get moving. I'll be back someday.

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Captain's Log 1.15.13, 2541 days to go. Sanguine.
We took on the Tan Ru defense fleet over their homeworld of Quarnix. It was a brutal fight, but with the Gong and the help of the Klakars, we got the job done. Judging by the starship graveyard orbiting the planet, we weren't the first to take the Tan Ru on in their home territory. We paid the Klakars with that old Proton Phasor we had laying around, and then got down to some serious scavenging. Nallen about [expletive] himself when we came across a working Particle Vortex Cannon and a Signature Projector. We took those and donated the Multi-Missile and the Tele-Scrambler to the Marauder.
The Marauder needs some minor repairs, so we'll hang out here for a few more days before we head to Zelazny.

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Captain's Log 3.19.13, 2478 days to go. Zelazny.
As we pulled into orbit over Lorn, we caught wind of a distress signal coming from a disabled shuttlecraft. The only inhabitant, a lovely lass by the name of Esmeralda, said she was a prospector who had been attacked and left for dead by the Garthans. She offered to pay us if we could help repair her ship so she could make it back to Glory, and we complied, bringing her on board and setting aside a spare room. Not 6 hours later, she was gone. There was no trace of her, her shuttle, or the Plasmaworm. Owens is just huddled in the engine room, crying. It's going to be a long trip to Clarke.

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Captain's Log 5.19.13, 2417 days to go. Clarke.
We picked up a little more help! The Bloodfang, a Garthan mercenary ship, took our Positron Scrambler and signed on to help us out. They aren't much on conversation, and watching their officers eat when we invited them over for a meal was disgusting, but I know they'll come in handy in a fight.

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Captain's Log 7.19.13, 2356 days to go. Argent.
We warped right into the middle of a school of Space Whales! We just sat back and watched them floating around us for two hours, nobody saying a word. They didn't seem to take nearly as much interest in us, eventually breaking off and leaving us to make our way to Zappa.

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Captain's Log 9.18.13, 2295 days to go. Zappa.
Zappa is the home system of the Garthans. We were expecting a good fight, but apparently they respect the Mantle of Babulon as much as anyone else. We called the Klakars in for some trading, and outfitted the Shrike with a shiny new Ion Impulsor Thruster.

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Captain's Log 11.18.13, 2234 days to go. Chronos.
We encountered another mercenary ship in orbit over Ankh. The Kuti is piloted by an odd race called the Zorg. We hired them with a Plasma Blaster, figuring the more the merrier. They're a friendly bunch, but they talk religion nonstop. That's going to get old fast. What does come in handy is their helmsman's ability to "Fold" space around him, allowing us to move to nearby stars even faster than we can with the Hyperdrive.

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Captain's Log 12.1.13, 2222 days to go. Sapphire.
While prospecting on the planet below, we came across a Proton Matrix Shield. Not a bad find. Gave it to the Marauder, and they gave their shield to the Bloodfang.

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Captain's Log 1.18.14, 2173 days to go. Lux.
Another planet, another salvage mission. This time we came up with an intact Eidetic Matrix Bubble. We hooked it up on the Kuti, and it worked perfectly. Never let 'em say I'm not good to my people.

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Captain's Log 2.13.14, 2147 days to go. Doradus.
Loralor, the Zorg helmsman, did his space folding trick, getting us here in just a couple of weeks. We found the Mephit, a Muktian fighter, stranded on the planet of Bedlam, a fate I wouldn't wish on anyone, hooked him up with the Bloodfang's old Structural Gluon Shield, and made him part of the fleet. I'm getting quite a flotilla assembled here.

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Captain's Log 2.23.14, 2137 days to go. Shiva.
Another Tan Ru flotilla demolished by the Gong and our Galactic Rainbow Coalition. Nallen was right about the Nova Cannon. Between that, the Particle Vortex Cannon, and the Marauder's Multi-Missiles, we turned 8 Tan Ru cruisers into a spectacular fireworks show in the space of about ten minutes. The salvageable thing we could find was a Hyperwave Filter. I feel like a badass.

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Captain's Log 3.20.14, 2112 days to go. Calix.
The planet we're orbiting, Necros, was probably once a thriving, beautiful world. Now there's nothing left alive on the surface. Who knows what happened? In an abandoned structure, we found a strange alien sculpture that we took aboard. Talbot and Rasmus gave it a once-over. Rasmus declared it to actually exist in four dimensions, and Talbot said that the inscription declared it to be "Zabnoth's 'Self Portrait'". All I know is that it's high art, and the great thing about high art is that someone somewhere will pay top dollar for it, no matter how ugly it is.

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Captain's Log 3.22.14, 2110 days to go. Folded to Theta.
We folded to Theta and found ourselves surrounded by the Urluquai. Apparently this is their home system. Nallen had our weapons ready to fire in an eyeblink, but apparently the Urluquai respect the Mantle as much as everyone else in the sector, letting us pass without any problem. Unfortunately they didn't have anything worth trading. I was glad not to have to fight, but the Urluquai still creep me out. We're getting out of here as soon as we can.

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Captain's Log 5.20.14, 2051 days to go. Ruby.
This is the last unexplored system of the sector! I remember wanting to come here from Jewel just a few years after having started out, but having no way to get through the Evil Darkness nebula. All told, it was a bit of a letdown. Nothing but a dead world below us, guarded by a small flotilla of Muktians who gave us an old Gluon Shield that they no longer needed. What next? Time to head home? I don't know...

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Captain's Log 7.20.14, 1990 days to go. Zappa.
We hung out at Ruby for a few days, getting drunk and debating our next step when Rasmus finally reminded us of that Anti-Graviton Shunt on Gartha, suggesting that we spend a few months exploring black holes. Mucron isn't expecting us back for another six years, so why not? We've got nothing better to do now, and I have to admit I've always been a little curious. We make our next jump as soon as we've got the Shunt installed, probably in another three weeks.

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Captain's Log 10.5.14, 1913 days to go. Monstro.
Spent last couple of weeks repairing damage to Mephit & Bloodfang after warping into and out of various Black Holes. It's really not as interesting as you'd think. I remember back years ago in my high school physics class, we were discussing black holes, and this dumb kid said "Since it sucks in light from all around, wouldn't it be really bright in there?" No, John, it's not. I'm sure Rasmus is getting all kinds of fascinating readings on the strange radiation and weird particles that exist inside the event horizon, things that will keep him busy for years to come, but for a gang of rough, tough adventurers like ourselves it's pretty boring. I think we're going to make a last Hyperdrive jump to Kali, and then we head home.

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Captain's Log 1.19.15, 1807 days early. Glory.
After 25 years, it's time to call it quits. It's been fun, but I can't say I'm sorry. I'm ready for something else. We called the Klakars for one last mega trading session, trading out so much junk and minor equipment we weren't using for things we'd left with them, like the Codex of Primordius, the Torc of Babulon, the Golden Disc, and the Golden Canister. To say that Mucron was happy to see us this time around would be an understatement, and this time I couldn't wait to give him a tour of the cargo hold. You know that thing they do in cartoons when someone gets really greedy and the pupils of their eyes turn to dollar signs? That actually happens. We headed back to his offices where I was introduced to Mr. Zank and Little Big Tony (I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing when he told me his name). We shot the breeze for a while, with me telling a few tall tales of the things I've seen over the course of this trip, before finally getting down to business. I walked out of Mucron's offices 26,517 space bucks richer. Was it worth it? I think so.
After getting paid, I got the crew together, gave them their share, and we all went out for one last drink together before going our separate ways. Nallen and Gohoda are going to continue to work for Mucron, busting heads and blowing things up. Can't say I'm surprised. I imagine Ladysmith will head back out into space too, looking for new and strange lifeforms. He relates better to most aliens than he does to other humans anyway. Talbot and Rasmus are both giving the Science Corps another try. Given the things they've seen and logged out there, they're sure to be accepted, probably even given professorships. Kohin and Owens are going to invest their share into a ship of their own and start an interstellar tour service for rich clients looking for a little adventure. Finally, Sunset Sue still can't admit how much she wants me, even after all these years, so it looks like she's going back to the Marauder to do what she does best. Most likely she and her crew will provide security for Kohin and Owen's tours.
As for me, I'm not ready to retire to Lakota just yet. I saw the way Mucron, Mr. Zank, and LBT drooled over the Nova Cannon and especially the Limited Vacuum Collapser. With the connections I've made across the sector, I'm going into the arms business. It's a violent universe, and there's always money to be made. That and the thought of making Major Brass pay through the nose for the latest new boomstick is just too good to pass up. For the next few days, though, I'm going to take it easy. Hey, I've earned it!

[UndeadOmelet]

That was pretty good.

[Brainiac4]

Excellent, Stavetor -- thanks!

[nihilix]

Top notch!