I am in a MP game with a comp comtrolled nation (with a VQ no less in a non-VQ game). said queen has just vowed to wip me from face of earth. Does this mean anything? i mean i have bordered them a bit with no conflict and would happily chew up neutrals but does this actually mean I need to saddle up for war?
Yup. It means they're going to start limply attacking you occasionally, just like they do in SP. Fortunately, the AI's idea of attacks is more annoying than dangerous. A Bane Lord or two ought to keep the rabble down to a minimum.