The Galactic Bash Story Thread

[Gryphin]

Purpose of this thread:
In the tradition of: the “Ye Olde Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina” and the late, “Gryphin GrowlTigga” threads we bring you’re the “Galactic Bash Story Thread”
Post stories chronicling the PBW game known as “The Galactic Bash”
Trade barbs directly related to the Galactic Bash
Disseminate misinformation to other players of The Galactic Bash.
All of this will be done as long as it does not violate the “Rules of Fair Play and Sportsmanship”. I am sure no one will post information about another player’s game or details about their own. As such, many of the game stories and other post will be from the creative minds of the player.

Any resemblance to realty is strictly in the minds of the reader.

We will attempt to keep non game related banter to the “Ye Olde Galactic Bar & Grill & Phong's Head Cantina”

Note: Everyone, Player or not is welcome to post here.

Warning, Warning, Warning
This thread may be hazardous to your mental health. We disavow all responsibility for your future sanity.
Enjoy the Thread
Let the Banter Begin!
Sincerely,
High Gryphn

[mac5732]

His most Glorious, Illustrious, Magnificent, Highness, Twixle the 4th, stood in front of his window looking out across the capitol. His research department had sent a memo to his office, reminding him of the upcoming test of the new CTW-1 Cruiser that afternoon with the TGP weapon systems.

"AAhh, yes, this new system is revolutionary in concept, something new and deadly," he thought to himself. Our illustrious Imperial fleet would be that much stronger if everything went as planned.
Those races that try to curtail or impeded our Quest shall tremble with fear and their planets shall be ours for the taking.

Nothing shall impede our Quest throughout the Universe, nothing shall stand in our way, he thought as he smiled to himself.

Our Scientific community shall always prevail.., now if they could only design a good cup of Xxtemme instead of this disgusting slop they imported from our planet #3. Yuk, no wonder we are a hairless race, drinking this junk eliminates all types of those hairy growths other races appear to have upon their anatamies. Hmmm, maybe .....
A Knock on his door interrupted his continuous mental faculties, Who the .....

to be continued.....

Taken from the Historical History of the Tka-Chik Empire

[Growltigga]

Growltigga the Great sat in his command chair gripping the arms tightly with his mightily muscled claws - a small itch started at the back of his neck but the great Kat was too tense to take the time to scratch it.

Growltigga the Great yelled orders to his flunkeys and gazed at the starfield shown on his viewscreen - the sight filled his warriors' heart with joy - who could not be inspired by the sight of the 1st Strike Fleet of the Growltigga Alliance arrayed in battle formation and streaking toward its foes?.

As Growltigga watched, he saw the spectral shimmering of force screens being activated and the chiarascuro of drive fields reaching combat readiness. The attack order was sent through the fleet and Growltigga gripped the arms of his seat even tighter, the nagging itch even more irritating.

He watched the Alliance fleet bear in for the kill, already missile launchers were spitting their lethal charges toward the ships of the enemy, small fighter craft were being launched from their catapults and were streaking toward the enemy vessels, already the glorious close assault cruisers of the Growltigga Alliance were closing to point blank range, their heavy shielding shrugging off all fire that the enemy scum could throw at them whilst their heavy beam weaponry sent shifting shafts of shimmering shining fire into the enemy vessels, ripping their hulls asunder and vapourising the ships.

As he watched, the fleet flagship, the GFN Dogbiter closed up to an enemy dreadnought and released boarding sleds - GA space marines used plasma torches to cut through the enemy ship's hull and soon, its stricken crewmen were being merrily disembowelled by the ferocious furry fighting felines of the 3rd Furball Assault Division - Growltigga the Great always wished the enemy would surrender before the marines got involved as shredding your enemies limb from limb and stuffing their heads up their backsides in true tigga tradition was not good for galactic realpolitik and machtpolitik- he would have problems facing the Tcha-chik ambassador after this performance without suffering the overriding urge to stuff the ambassador's head up his rectum - actually, thought Growltigga, that is probably no worse than what the Tcha-Chiks get up to anyhow

Growltiggfa turned back to the battle. It didnt Last long, it never did and the 1st Strike Fleet of the Growltigga Alliance reformed and jetted off to the next victory, nursing over a few dented hull plates and a couple of minor flesh wounds.

Growltigga stretched, scratched the itch and broke wind. "Damn", he thought, "Galaxy Quest is getting better every week"

[ 08 May 2002: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[ 08 May 2002: Message edited by: Growltigga ]

[tesco samoa]

Memo from the Vassili Society 2420.5

Please note that the previous two announcements are false. It was determined that at the date of 2400.1 to 2400.2 that neither 'EMPIRE' owned any ships let alone a '1st Strike Fleet' nor a 'spectral shimmering of force screen' nor 'arms' upon a so-called 'seat'. The itch itself was a figment of imagination. This so called 'Alliance' animal did not exist.

The 'GFN Dogbiter' was a name taken from a pack of matches found in a dust bin. The 3rd Furball Assault was really a side product from a well cleaned cat.

The only sentance that ringed of any truth was 'it never did'

WEre did we hear this

Why Bad Scripts Gone Wrong Booster Party.

That is all.

Later

[Growltigga]

Internal Note to Neural Nanonics from Growltigga the Great - esteemed and natural leader of the Ferocious Fighting Furry Felines of the Growltigga Alliance.

"Hmm, in addition to sounding like a dodgy bunch of Greek kebab shop owners, the Vassili Society are obviously not terribly bright, and are also lacking even the most rudimentary sense of humour. They should have realised that Growltigga the Great was in fact watching television, upon which television show the glorious 1st Strike Fleet of the Growltigga Alliance was stuffing the heads of yet another bunch of galactic miscreants up their own rectums.

And as for having no starshps by 2400.2, "hmmmm..." thought the Glorious Growltigga, "these boys are slow off the mark"

[Growltigga]

Bloody bump to coin a damned colonial phrase

Come on guys,. the lack ofrole play and general silliness on this thread is appalling

Saxon? whee on earth are you? have you pulled or something?
Gryphin? your wretched thread so get cracking

Tesco and your chum, let be having more out of you you north mancunian reprobate you

Mephisto, surely germany's answer to Britney Spears has sometihing to say?