I don't mean to say that people are stupid, I mean to say that some people are
really stupid.
Quote:
Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper
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And now for your amusement I submit the following:
I had to tell you that story above so that I could now tell you this story.
About a month back the house and property in front of us was rented out. Two weeks ago I met the new neighbors. *deep breath slow sigh*
To say that theses guys are red necks would be an understatement. These guys are uber red necks. You see, they took these two semi new trucks, one a 2004 Chevy Silverado 1500(?), the other a 2005 Ford F150, bought only a few weeks back with money from an inheritance, and proceed to spend the day, and most of the night, stump jumping them throughout the 40 acres of trees, fields, and wet lands of the property they now rent.
At some point during their hillbilly hoopla fest, they opted to remove the mufflers, via running over [censored], because it made the trucks sound louder, and we all know that the louder the truck, the more powerful it must be. Besides ripping off the fenders, mirrors, and caving in the windshield don't hurt the runnin none.
Well any ways, at around 2 am, quite drunken, armed, and driving their new $30,000 worth of wrecked trucks, these yahoo's decide to go pull up street signs and tear down signal lights. I [censored] you not. At around 2 am in the morning they hall *** down the road, strap on a chain to the bumper of the Ford, because by this time the Chevy is broke down and stuck in a perk hole. They tie the other end of their chain to a stop sign at the end of the private road and with a stomp of the gas, out comes the stop sign. With this success they move further down the road and do it again and again until they come to the ultimate icon of modern day stop signs, the stoplight at the four-way intersection.
But before they wrap the chain around this would be victim of hillbilly stupidity, dump out all of their used beer bottles onto the ground and start shooting them. Oh I am sure one or more bottles meet it doom after being tossed into the air, but who really knows what red neck hill billies do when they shoot glass and aluminum at 2:30 am in the morning.
After about 20 or so minutes of their version of the old west, they go ahead and tie off to the stop signal. They rev the Fords motor several times then lock her into gear and poured on the coals.... kaboom!
Now to be a successful red neck hill billy one must possess a certain degree of inept stupidity for they laughed and giggled and drove off all happy and what not without ever looking back. Had they, they might have noticed something. Oddly as it might seem, if they had stopped to review their actions, they would have discovered that the light post and signal were still standing. And attached to the base of the light post/signal, was their chain. And, has fate would have it, attached to that chain was a bumper. Not any old bumper mind you, but the bumper from a 2005 Ford 150 with, ironically, a license plate baring the very same identification number of the license plate attached to the front bumper of the very same Ford 150 that they were now happily, and quite drunkenly driving off in.
These moron's, and by moron's I mean complete retarded, inbreed, hillbilly, buck tooth, bare foot, dirt floor, long haired, dip ****s rejects from coal country finally tire of the fun and head home. How they make it home is entirely another story, but needless to say they do make it home.
The very next morning I am awoken to the sweet sounds of sirens and police radios. Deadeye, he calls himself this because he shot his left eye out while looking down the barrel of a paint ball gun at the same instant that he pulled the trigger, tells me today that since they can't prove who was driving the truck, they can't charge them with any crime. The trucks owner, his dad, will have to pay for the damages, and wouldn't ya know it, they are very well insured. I mean you would have to be if you treated your vehicles like these morons.
Now old deadeye, (about 18 yrs old) don't remember none of the night, he cain't say what for sure happinned.
Well I can, and despite my blank stupefied stair, have come to realize yet another truth about this wonderful universe that we all live in, that being that God loves stupid people..... He absolutely does.
OT: Yes, They Are Breeding! *DELETED*
Please don't tell me it offended someone...
Run if you like, you'll only die tired....
Hybrid Mode
