OT - Scientific proof that there is no afterlife!

Ed Kolis · #1 August 17th, 2003, 10:56 PM

Over time, people die and enter Heaven, but no one comes back from Heaven, so the number of souls in Heaven is constantly increasing. Of course, these souls have to be coming from somewhere, otherwise the law of conservation of mass is being violated. Where the souls are coming from is of course Earth. Now the Bible says that the righteous go on to live in the kingdom of God for eternity. Thus, Heaven has an infinite duration. But the Earth has a finite mass and if souls are leaving it at some rate then eventually its mass will be depleted below zero, which is impossible - nothing can have negative mass. Therefore Heaven cannot exist. A similar argument applies to Hell, Gehennom, Elysium, Hades, and any other form of afterlife. (The special case of reincarnation is somewhat more difficult and will not be presented here.)

Note: The preceding paragraph is a work of satire. It contains numerous scientific and mathematical errors. Please do not bother contacting me if you only want to point out these errors. Otherwise, write away!

Mephisto · #2 August 17th, 2003, 11:23 PM

We are doomed! Oh... wait... there is no hell either...

Jack Simth · #3 August 17th, 2003, 11:26 PM

There's no problem with the heaven/hell model as long as Armaggeddon comes before all the mass runs out.

If you divide the mass of the universe by the mass of a soul, then figure out how fast souls are leaving the universe, you will get an estimate on the latest armaggeddon can be.

That leaves three questions:
1) What is the mass of a soul?
2) What is the mass of the universe?
3) What is the rate of soul loss to both heaven and hell (the death rate of souled beings)?

[ August 17, 2003, 22:47: Message edited by: Jack Simth ]

tesco samoa · #4 August 17th, 2003, 11:48 PM

ed. wait 100 years science changes.

always does

Slick · #5 August 17th, 2003, 11:51 PM

Your assumption: a soul has mass.

Dubious at best, and no evidence to support it. Of course, that is fine for satire.

Slick.

[ August 17, 2003, 23:06: Message edited by: Slick ]

General Woundwort · #6 August 18th, 2003, 12:11 AM

Another false assumption - that extradimensional realities (heaven, hell) have the exact same "natural laws" that 4-dimensional space does. If the physical universe was created by God, it would seem logical that He existed prior to it and is transcendent above it - therefore He is not bound by its laws.

EDIT - Ed's spoof reminds me of the "proof" of God's non-existence in the Hitchhiker's series.

[ August 17, 2003, 23:12: Message edited by: General Woundwort ]