PATRIOT'S SALOON and SOCIALIST' HEAD CASINO (Rank Padding Alternative)

Gil Hamilton · #1 July 10th, 2002, 03:51 AM

The doors are now open and the Bud, Schlitz, Pabst, Olympia, Black Label, Milwaulkee's Best, Stroh's, Red Dog and Miller are ice cold and on tap!

The wine will be what ever box Mable or Hilly grabs out of the walk-in, the peanuts are free, don't worry none 'bout them shells, they'll sweep up jest fine whenever somone gits 'round to it.

Live git-fidlin' every night. Pointy-toed boots, straw c'boy hats, hootin-n-hollerin, Holo-bull ridin' and line dancin' are strongly encouraged- karaoke Tues. & Thurs. Pork-n-beans and cole slaw buffet Weds.

Never a cover charge- 'ceptin' fer you fellers from "The Realm"- y'all need to leave a $1,000,000 deposit each time you want to come in; 'till we git ta knowin' ya- we know what kinda' trouble yer kind likes ta stir!

The tables and games are fair enough, we ain't too greedy. So come on down, pull up a bench an tell us yer latest fishin' story. Bring yer own gal tho', 'cause the ones workin' here ain't much ta look at, iffin ya' gits my meanin'.

[ July 10, 2002, 03:32: Message edited by: Gil Hamilton ]

TerranC · #2 July 10th, 2002, 03:56 AM

My god.

It's a redneck paradise.

... Well I'll have some Gin and Tonic without the Gin.

Phoenix-D · #3 July 10th, 2002, 04:09 AM

Ugg. Ok, one insane thread is bad enough. Can I make a request?

If you must do this, please move it to one of the other forums. Preferably one of the general ones (don't want to scare people off the other games

)

Phoenix-D

Atrocities · #4 July 10th, 2002, 04:27 AM

You know your a Red Neck if you refer to your tractor as the "Farm Ferrari."

Gil Hamilton · #5 July 10th, 2002, 04:39 AM

You don't know what fun is 'till you've spent a day at the lawnmower races!

Instar · #6 July 10th, 2002, 04:50 AM

what? youre all being insane without me!?! I demand to be insane with the group! No! antisocial is better

Gil Hamilton · #7 July 10th, 2002, 06:20 AM

The PATRIOT'S SALOON and SOCIALST' HEAD CASINO (Rank Padding Alternative) is pleased to announce our first Keno game Champion- Miss Bitsy Tyler from Lula,SD.- She won a choice of $10,000 or the prize out in the parking lot. As she took the train here she chose the wheels- A 1971 Buick Skylark! Congradulations Bitsy! And no more than another six pack before you take off!

And now more of One Eyed Jim and The Spoon Slamin' Trio!!!!!!!

Gil Hamilton · #8 July 10th, 2002, 10:36 AM

A light drizzle falls silently somewhere in Upper NorthEast South Druckleberry Hill-The West Side- underneath the poorly lit sign of Schmoe Brothers Shoe Polish and Spitfire Premium Kentish Ale Brewers and Carriage Co. LTD. the bespecktacled Master Brewer hands Gil a bag of Greenbacks and exclaims," Its the finest hops we've seen yet! You've another 10,000 gallons you'll sell for the same price 'ave ya'? We'll take it all!"
Gil smiles and reassures the joyful man, it will be so.

Gil Hamilton · #9 July 10th, 2002, 11:04 AM

OEJ & TSST play a little louder to drown out that high pitched yowling coming from across the way.

Gil thanks TerranC for driving and hands him a BFG as he says,"Keep your eyes peeled for trouble, sounds like they're getting desperate!"

mac5732 · #10 July 10th, 2002, 04:27 PM

Mac, who is ever on the look out for new scientific discoveries, wanders in to ck out the new Casino in Town, hmmmm, not to bad in here, he thinks, he meanders over to a local table, parks his countenance and looks over the menu,... hey, they got chilli he exclaims, he calls over one of the serving wenches and places his order along with a good old American Coors.. he then leans back and watchs the show going on out in the parking lot between some grey haired lady and a 71 Skylark, she appears to be kicking and punching the sides of it and screaming unintelligilbe wording, wonder what the problem is he mumbles, oh well, bring on the chilli..., no Tesco or Puke Sauces listed, but guess I'll try what they have anything for the furtherance of scientific knowledge...

just a curious mac