I know exactly how it feels Atrocities. I lost my cat Sammy a few years ago (had him for at least 11 years) I was only 15ish at the time. Really sorry to hear this, Cats are great pets and friends. Don't worry about crying, Let it out and remember all the times you had with her, it'll make you feel less pent up.
If it makes you feel better in anyway as I'm typing this my kitten just relieved itself in the litter tray a few metres away in the kitchen and it STINKS to high heaven
